Smile dammit!
Living in an area popular with tourists, I tend to see a lot of them as the weather improves. It is a pain in the arse, frankly, but tourists can provide their moments of humour. I very much enjoy misinforming them and it brings a little joy to an otherwise dull day.
“Yes, the queen tends to get her lunchtime cornish pasty from over there, normally between 12 and 12:30. She wears a disguise, so be vigilant. She came dressed as a black teenager yesterday, she is very good.”
There is however one group of tourists that I do not understand, and that is the Japanese. They take more photographs than any other nation on the planet, yet I have never seen any of them smile in a single one of them.
They will readily stand in front of the castle or some famous monument and joke amongst themselves, but the second the picture is to be taken, it is an instant return to stoney-faced silence and a look that suggests an imminent return to Death Row.
Is smiling in photographs a social faux pas in Japan? I do not think HSBC mentioned that in their adverts, so I can not be sure. I will ask them next time I am in the branch.
Or maybe I am wrong and have been a bit of a racist, and it is fact the Chinese that fail to smile? That would be more easily understood if you imagine their return to China and interrogation at passport control.
“Did you have a good time?”
“No. It was rubbish. Look. We were miserable the whole time. We are pleased to be back in the homeland comrade. But, we can go back next year, right?”



