I Am Livid | Where ‘net rage is all the rage…

Apr/10

15

Updates and that…

Every time I sit down and think, “I should write something for the blog” I almost immediately find myself thinking, “I should save that for the podcast”.

It’s difficult, because I am torn between the desire to write down lots of jokes about how Ben sounds like Louie Spence from Pineapple Dance Studios, and the desire to tell them to his face when there is a microphone to record his reaction.  Then there is the fact that it takes a lot less time to say it, than to write it.  Which when coupled with my inherent laziness means that I don’t write it.

But next week I am doing something which I will talk/write about after the event, but first I wanted to give you an opportunity to offer me some advice in advance.

I am going Speed Dating!!

Ostensibly I am accompanying a female friend who wasn’t keen on doing it by herself, but essentially I will be a contestant (they’re called contestants, right?).  I tried this once before many years ago, but got very drunk, couldn’t remember people, and subsequently ended up going on a date with someone I really didn’t like very much.  This time I intend on being sober for most of it.

Three minutes might not sound very long to spend with someone, but you can do an awful lot of damage in three minutes, so I am looking for advice on questions I should ask, and details I should/shouldn’t share.  So come on, give me some good opening lines or funny questions.  I promise to use the good ones and report back with the answers.

Oh, and in the meantime, you can hear Cliff and I taking the piss out of Ben’s soundalike at our podcast site, plus we discuss elephants that look like Brad Pitt and whether the Pop would come quietly…

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8 comments

  • Sam · April 15, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    You HAVE to try and record some of it for the podcast…

  • Ellie · April 15, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    It’s funny. A post takes a lot of time to write, but not that much time to consume. Listening to a podcast takes a significant commitment of time.

  • JonnyB · April 16, 2010 at 11:33 am

    When I used to interview people, I always used to ask them what their friends would say is their one bad characteristic. Bizarrely, a lot of people would answer honestly.

    It’s not very funny I know. But I’d hate for you not to get a shag, just for the sake of comedy material.

  • Misty · April 16, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    Lie

  • Rumplestiltskin · April 16, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    “You don’t sweat much for a fat girl, which deoderant do you use?”

    “If we hit it off intellectually, would you consider a nose job and tummy tuck?”

    “How often do you mow the lady garden?”

    “I don’t believe in gender stereotypes, so would you be happy fixing the roof and car. If so, how would you fit in around the cooking and cleaning?”

    “Spit or swallow?”

    They’ll give you a good idea as to whether it’s worth pursuing. If it is, tell her you’ve got a podcast and email her a link. Don’t send her your link though, link her to a good one and pretend it’s yours :)

  • Admin comment by Mr Angry · April 17, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    Sam – A dictaphone on the table you mean? “Just in case of any disputes at a later date,” I could explain…

    Ellie – I am well aware that my new modus operandi has shifted the effort away from myself and over to you lot!

    JonnyB – I’m not sure why you see me getting a shag, and getting some comedy material as being mutually exclusive. Trust me, they’re not.

    Misty – I always do. Except in the comments. Or is that a lie…?

    Rumplestiltskin – I particularly like your second question. I am going to steal a variation of that one, definitely.

  • Sam · April 20, 2010 at 12:05 am

    I don’t know if I’m suggesting getting your dictaphone out straight away. Perhaps conceal it somewhere.

  • Admin comment by Mr Angry · April 20, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    It has been cancelled!!!

    I’m not sure if me leaking details of the event on the Internet had something to do with it, but it has been cancelled nonetheless.

    I will be looking for a replacement event, because I am keen to use the many useful tips you gave me. Honest.

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