Yes, I know I said I wouldn’t be posting podcast stuff here any more.  But the simple fact is that my hosts have switched off angryandcliff.com over a small disagreement about how many people want to visit newsarse.com.  It is a long and tedious story that I will bore you all with when it is resolved.  Which should be in the next day or so, but rather than wait, I thought I’d post the latest episode right here for those that want it. It won’t appear in iTunes until the podcast site is back up, so I’m sorry about that.  Honest.

Anyway, with Ben recovered from the viral epidemic, our two week hiatus is concluded with Cliff getting a new watch strap – though listening back I think he was basically admitting a sexual assault.  Ben was bored at home and found a place to confess all of his sins.  Online.  And I did some rubber necking.

All this plus a birthday for Eric Bristow, Beethoven writing a song for his ‘bit on the side’ and why you shouldn’t buy cigarettes for kids in your dressing gown.

Go on, have a listen…

 

 It look like Daniel [39:26m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Those of you who have been on the Internet for more than a couple of years will no doubt know and love JonnyB.  His Private Secret Diary is one of the funniest things on the Internet (well, it’s in the top couple of thousand, easy), and was very much an influence on iamlivid.com back when this site was moderately amusing.  Not only that, but he is also a very funny chap in real life and even bought me a beer* last time I saw him.

Well, he has written a book!!!

A proper book too, not just a collection of blog posts.  It is called Sex and Bowls and Rock and Roll, and will be out shortly.  I suggest you pay a visit to the book’s website to have a look, as there a few amusing snippets, and links to places where a purchase might be made.

I am confident that first editions will be worth a fortune once the movie rights are secured, so don’t waste time, go and take a look for yourself…

* that beer might have been a glass of white wine, but that doesn’t help either of our images so we’ll stick with ‘beer’.

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Every time I sit down and think, “I should write something for the blog” I almost immediately find myself thinking, “I should save that for the podcast”.

It’s difficult, because I am torn between the desire to write down lots of jokes about how Ben sounds like Louie Spence from Pineapple Dance Studios, and the desire to tell them to his face when there is a microphone to record his reaction.  Then there is the fact that it takes a lot less time to say it, than to write it.  Which when coupled with my inherent laziness means that I don’t write it.

But next week I am doing something which I will talk/write about after the event, but first I wanted to give you an opportunity to offer me some advice in advance.

I am going Speed Dating!!

Ostensibly I am accompanying a female friend who wasn’t keen on doing it by herself, but essentially I will be a contestant (they’re called contestants, right?).  I tried this once before many years ago, but got very drunk, couldn’t remember people, and subsequently ended up going on a date with someone I really didn’t like very much.  This time I intend on being sober for most of it.

Three minutes might not sound very long to spend with someone, but you can do an awful lot of damage in three minutes, so I am looking for advice on questions I should ask, and details I should/shouldn’t share.  So come on, give me some good opening lines or funny questions.  I promise to use the good ones and report back with the answers.

Oh, and in the meantime, you can hear Cliff and I taking the piss out of Ben’s soundalike at our podcast site, plus we discuss elephants that look like Brad Pitt and whether the Pop would come quietly…

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