Cliff and I mentioned the Somalian pirates in Tuesday’s podcast. It was breaking news at the time, and I couldn’t for the life of me see how they planned to ’steal’ one of the largest oil tankers in the world.
Since then I have watched with interest as the incident has unfolded. After initially making a ‘run for it’ (well, as best you can in a vehicle weighing almost half a million tons) they have now decided to hold the ship and crew hostage, which makes them, officially, rubbish pirates.
I assume this change in tactics has something to do with their difficulty in shifting the two million barrels of oil. Plus the ship itself. It’s not like they could put an advert in Exchange & Mart.
“Hi, I’m call about the boat you have advertised. How big is it.”
“A little over 40 feet.”
“How little?”
“Oh, about 1000 feet.”
If you are going to be a pirate, you have to think about your exit strategy. If I were a pirate I would focus on ships transporting Xboxes and iPods. That way, eBay is your friend. It is difficult setting a Buy It Now price for a quarter of the worlds daily oil production.
I’ve also been wondering about why pirates are called pirates? It’s quite a cool name if you think about it. I imagine land based criminals who steal, kidnap and extort are a bit gutted they do not get romaticised as much as the parrot-fondling sea-farers. So next time you read about an onland robbery, just have a little think about that poor criminals self-esteem issues before you condemn them.
oil · pirates · somalia · somalian pirates · tanker
Keef · November 20, 2008 at 10:36 pm
I refuse to think of them as pirates until I see their leader on telly saying Ooh Ah Jim Lad.
I think they were planning to bury their treasure like pirates are supposed to do and then realised a hole big enough to hold two million barrels of oil would take far too long to dig.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · November 20, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Keef – Good point, plus, that isn’t so much hiding it, as putting it back where it came from.
Brennig Jones · November 21, 2008 at 5:33 am
As Uzi- and AK47-toting Somalian desert rats who have taken to the water are called ‘pirates’, isn’t it just a short step for box-cutter or ball-bearing pistol wielding chavs in (f’rinstance) Nottingham to be called Highwaymen?
The romance of the crime is all in the name. The trouble is many latter-day professions don’t link back to the romantic but criminal titles of yore.
Robber
Highwayman
Privateer
Tax collector
Hmmm…. a bit of a theme developing there…
Lin · November 21, 2008 at 10:24 am
Keep going……every bank and financial ‘expert’, government’giving’ our hard earned cash to dictatorial governments abroad whose civilians see very little of it, Euro MP’s such as those we voted out e.g. Kinnocks (2) etc.etc
That feels a bit better, thank you!
imma · November 21, 2008 at 11:23 am
Heh, I think they deserve a little, umm, not respect, but I’m impressed – they tried to steal an *oil tanker*!
I guess the equivalent would be people on foot or motorbikes holding up a truck convoy
plus ‘Tax collector’ needs to be more glamorous, I just can’t think of an equivalent
Cliff · November 21, 2008 at 1:20 pm
So we’re not linking each other’s names from our blogs, now is it?
Chemistry, my arse.
Megan · November 21, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I dearly hope all the crewnapped folks are taking full advantage of this situation. One should be nominated to hang around the bridge asking, “are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?” Another three or four could organize into a small morale committee and try to get all the pirate types to join in a sing-song every evening. Maybe someone could be the official Very Annoying Human Echo…
Sigg3.net · November 21, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Just wait for the spam mails from Nigeria.
“I’m a princess and because of the unruly distress from HIV and poverty and starvation and economic imbalance and corruption (and insert your prejudice here) I want you to have this oil tanker. Please forward your accounting details.”
Sewmouse · November 21, 2008 at 4:20 pm
“Carjacker” certainly does not have the same romantic value as “Pirate” – agreed.
However, an AK47 doesn’t seem as romantic as a cutlass and dagger either. And exactly what is Somalian for “Arr, avast there, matey?”
Wouldn’t it just be funny as all get out if someone came up with a no-oil-needed car right about now and stuck those guys with 2 million barrels of worthless toxic waste?
Debster · November 23, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Why are they called pirates? Because they ARRRRRR!!
Sigg3.net · November 24, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Sewmose: What’s romantic about a dagger?
You should pick up a copy of Freud’s Psychoanalysis, friend.
ubermouth · November 26, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I fake liking blog reading/commnting*not yours of course, that’s genuine.
I fake liking people due to the criminal code affecting my right to exercise’freedom of expression’.
Other than that, nothing- I’m as real as they come.