Osama Bin Laden has nineteen (19) children. That was the first alarming thing that struck me after I read this article.
Osama Bin Laden has had sex at least nineteen times. Which I am sure you will all agree is pretty impressive for someone who has spent a large proportion of his adult life in a cave. I live in a vibrant tourist town and I have only just struggled to reach double figures (that is a joke, my struggle to reach double figures ended ages and ages ago). This news does seem to make one statement though; to all those people who say we should, “Make love, not war”, old Osama seems to have proven that the two are not mutually exclusive.
His son is seeking asylum in Spain, I’m not sure from what, but having the world’s most unpopular Dad (Clinton’s worst selling mug) is probably quite high on the list.
Getting out from under your fathers shadow can be a tall order, I imagine. Especially if your father is famous, or should I say, infamous. It must also be tough for Osama himself, having his son that fails so spectacularly to live up to expectations. I suppose it is a bit like Alan Carr’s Dad who was a footballer, and then a football manager, the stereotypical man’s man. A camp comedian was probably not high on his list of hopes for his infant son.
The fact that Bin Laden Jnr. is a confirmed pacifist must have hit Osama very hard indeed. He would probably have preferred it if he had announced he was gay and wanted to perform stand-up.
“Dad, I abhor violence of all kinds. I am committed to a life of peace.”
“Are you sure? You’ve not given terrorism a proper go yet. How can you say you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it? It’s a bit like Spinach when you were a kid, and look how much you like that now!”
“No Dad, I want to live in the West and meet a visually impaired fifty-something that I can grow old – well, oldER – with.”
“Won’t you try blowing up just one infidel? Just one? For Daddy?”
So while debate rages about whether to admit Bin Laden Jnr. into Spain, let us not forget his heartbroken father crying himself to sleep in a cave somewhere.
asylum · omar bin laden · osama bin laden
Keef · November 5, 2008 at 9:51 am
The article says that Osama has 19 sons not 19 children so Mrs Bin Laden must have REALLY REALLY wanted a little girl.
No wonder he’s hiding in a cave somewhere, the poor guy’s todger must be falling off.
Perhaps we’ve misunderstand him, blowing stuff up and flying planes into buildings is just the mad raghead’s equivalent of going down the pub to avoid the missus’s incessant demands, he’s probably just wants to escape the nagging.
Lin · November 5, 2008 at 10:23 am
Never knew that about Alan Carr’s dad. Does Ross & friend know?
Cliff · November 5, 2008 at 10:26 am
Osama Bin Laden has nineteen (19) children.
No wonder he keeps a low profile.
Mac · November 5, 2008 at 3:15 pm
i heard Bin Laden gets stellar wi-fi connection up in those caves. he gets all his swanky moves from these guys who really know how to lay down some good pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k98bRUOb4g
while Bin Laden holds a PHD for getting his freak on, unfortunately he has not been schooled on the pull-out method
Sewmouse · November 5, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Not sure that OBLjr has the world’s most unpopular dad.
Remember – Jenna and NotJenna have a pretty darn unpopular dad too.
Mr Farty · November 6, 2008 at 9:08 am
“my struggle to reach double figures ended ages and ages ago”
So when exactly did you give up?
Duck · November 6, 2008 at 3:16 pm
‘This news does seem to make one statement though; to all those people who say we should, “Make love, not war”, old Osama seems to have proven that the two are not mutually exclusive.’
Perhaps Salvadore could do us a helpful Venn here.
Kathryn · November 7, 2008 at 5:00 am
That last bit reminds me of Dr. Evil and his son. Finger poised in mouth, “For Daddy?”