Radio DJ and television presenter Jo Whiley has given birth to her fourth child, a baby girl.
In their infinite wisdom, her parents have decided to call her Coco Lux.
Let us just think about that for a minute.
When Coco Lux gets older and has her own family, they will be greeted at family parties with the call, “Here come the Coco Lux Clan!” Whereupon all the black people will run and hide.
Why would you give your child a name that sounds like a stuttering racist? Unless of course you were a closet racist yourself? We can only assume the names “Aryan Race” and “Apartheid” were considered a little too ‘in your face’, and that Coco Lux was deemed to strike the right balance between subtlety and a strong white supremacist message.
Good luck Coco, I think you will need it.
15 comments
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Lin · October 31, 2008 at 9:09 am
Probably conceived late at night (Cocoa) over the washing machine (Lux).
Sim-O · October 31, 2008 at 9:16 am
Wasn’t there a soap called Lux?
Anyway what is it with these celebs and humiliating their offspring? What wrong with proper names like Frederick or Gertrude?
Uncle Norman · October 31, 2008 at 10:30 am
This isn’t another inappropriate and distasteful prank by those wascals Woss and Bwand is it?
Actual on second thoughts, she could have done worse than to have asked them for some more sensible ideas. I think there should be an inquiry at the Beeb.
Keef · October 31, 2008 at 11:50 am
I notice her elder daughter is called India, which with along with Brooklyn Beckham and America Ferriera shows the trend for naming children after places is spreading. I’m wondering how long it is before we have children named Milton Keynes Jones or Union of Soviet Socialist Republics Smith.
JamesSpratt.org · October 31, 2008 at 12:42 pm
I used to fancy the pants off her. Now I don’t so much, silly woman.
What would you call your offspring My Angry?
Sheppitsgal · October 31, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Obviously another of those ‘I hope my child is a drug addict by the age of 14′ parents.
Re: naming children after places, I named my child ‘Spar Car Park Knee Trembler Sheppit’, which I think is quite nice – lovely for calling him in for tea.
Brennig Jones · October 31, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Keef: There’s a ten-year-old boy in Abingdon whose first name is ‘Croydon’! Good grief.
Anyway the latest issue from the loins of La Whiley needs all the luck she can get with a mother like that.
Megan · October 31, 2008 at 1:39 pm
I knew a girl called Echo Dawn [last name something like Backsplat] and heard of another named Dandelion Rosebud. Of course my own dear sister was given a name which is reasonably common in another country but in mine resulted in her getting a draft notice from the Army. They were quite nice about it when she went down to the local office though and agreed she did not have to register. She even got a free pair of cheap knee socks with “ARMY!” printed across the tops in green. Perhaps Coco’s parents see a lucrative future in free hand outs from Tescos or something when their child is mistaken for a lorry full of stolen chocolate biscuits?
Sewmouse · October 31, 2008 at 2:04 pm
I went to school with a poor girl with the unfortunate name of Christine.
She was part of the “Cross” family.
100% of truth.
Equine Pimp · October 31, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I still think it’s funny that the BBC have a sports reporter called Arlo White.
A good mate claims he wentto school with a Theresa Green
peter whale · November 3, 2008 at 11:07 am
We had a customer with a surname of Gotobed who called his daughter Gloria and also a Mr & Mrs. Less who called their daughter Ruth.
Brennig Jones · November 3, 2008 at 11:18 am
While serving at RAF Bruggen I worked with Flt Ltd Celia Toogood. And she was. Toogood to be true.
Brennig Jones · November 3, 2008 at 11:18 am
**bollocks typo. Flt Lt. crap.
grumpyoldwoman · November 6, 2008 at 11:27 am
I think ‘Sunday Rose’ is my particular favourite – thank you Nicole Kidman – at last a child named after my favourite meal of the week.
Lady Thinker · November 8, 2008 at 12:12 am
I thought I was beyond laughter. This post has just proved me wrong. It’s been many months since I was last here. I can see in these dark days [wintry and financially] I should call by more often. Thank you for sending me to bed in a happier frame of mind.
I think you should be nominated for a seat in the Lords.