Archive for October 15th, 2008
I have previously written about the difficulties of working for Al Qaeda. Not only do they have trouble recruiting staff, I mean, can you trust an employee who is motivated solely by the promise of eternal sexual favours? But they also have the problem of funding.
That is where I come in.
Last week’s post advising George W. Bush to use the law to his advantage got me thinking, and as a result I do have another tip for Al Qaeda – Sponsorship.
I think it is fair to say that when Osama Bin Laden releases a video, it is seen by the entire Western world. How hard would be it be to preface each release with a short message?
“This warning to the godless infidels in the West is brought you by Starbucks – your pick-up in a cup.”
Don’t say that no-one will pay to sponsor something as morally questionable as Al Qaeda, because Virgin paid £3m to sponsor Big Brother, so there is a precedent. I believe this will work because the advertising industry truly has no moral compass.
I know what you are thinking, you are thinking that it is not true that there is no such thing as bad publicity, after all, Gary Glitter is hardly storming up the iTunes chart, is he? But that is wrong. Trust me, if he had been hounded back into the UK drinking a can of coke you would all have been going, “That dirty bastard! How did we let him come back here. But you know what, I have got a bit of a thirst on now…”
On a personal note, it is really disappointing to find out the one thing you are good at is advising terrorist organisations. There is not much career development there. I doubt that any terrorist organisation would ever believe that I was running a genuine agency.
“Ha! I bet this is a secret MI6 plan to capture us!”
“No, honestly, I genuinely want to help you leverage the value of your brand.”
It wouldn’t be the first time a brand has been associated with Al Qaeda either. I bet that deep down, in the place where we have the thoughts that no-one talks ever about, the Marketing team at Porsche were secretly pleased that the phrase ‘9/11′ took off. I can almost hear them saying, “…and please let one of the terrorists have been called Cabrera!”
