Songwriters tend to have a knack for understanding exactly how their target audience is feeling.  This uncanny ability to create songs that speak directly to us, as if we wrote them ourselves, can lead to global meagstardom for the talented few.

There are exceptions of course, like when Gary Glitter asked us if we wanted to be in “his gang”, but that was his fault for not being explicit about what being in his gang entailed.   Then again, I guess he would not have been invited on Top of the Pops if he had sung, “Do you wanna be in my gang of kiddy fiddlers?”, mainly because it scans really badly and there’s not much that rhymes with fiddlers.

So I was intrigued to listen to new pop-sensation Katy Perry’s recent chart-buster, “I kissed a girl”.  The song has become something of a worldwide hit, and so it clearly resonates with the youth of today.

The chorus begins, “I kissed a girl and I liked it.”

OK Katy, I am with you so far.  I too have tried it, and felt much the same way.  I would perhaps have said something stronger than ‘like’ but let us not get hung up on that.

“The taste of her cherry chapstick”

I must be honest here and say that I tend to avoid snogging girls with overly chapped lips, but each to the their own I suppose.  Some people get off on amputees, so in the overall grand scheme of things chapped lips is relatively normal.  Whatever floats your pretty little boat.

“I kissed a girl, just to try it.”

Fair enough, but there really is no need to defend yourself or your actions.  It’s not like you injected smack or anything.  I am not sure if kissing a girl is a gateway sexual deviancy but it might be best keep a close eye on your cravings from now on.

“I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it.”

Right.  This is where I think you are a little bit off the pace here Katy.  If you are going to go around experimenting by kissing other girls, the one person on the entire planet who is NOT going to mind, is your boyfriend.  If you had said, “my Mother” or “my Pastor”, then I could understand your concern.  As it is, I doubt you even got to the second verse before your boyfriend had you on the phone to invite your ’special friend’ round for dinner, whilst simultaneously texting the word “BINGO!” to all of his mates.

If she believes she did wrong then she has clearly lost touch with the planet’s entire male population.  Which is a lot of potential customers.  I think she should strongly reconsider her planned follow up single, “I won’t lez it up because no men will buy my album if I do.”

katy perry · kissed a girl · lyrics · song