Mon 18 Aug 2008
A friend had booked the accommodation for our short golfing break in Cornwall. I could not blame him for the torrential rain and howling gale, the but location was all down to him.
I do not watch a lot of television, so when people started saying things like, “Have you come to see where Doc Martin is filmed then?” I was a bit bemused.
Port Isaac is tiny. And remote. And completely incapable of receiving a mobile phone signal. This may be an attraction for someone trying to get away from it all, but I am busy twenty-first century man who needs to feel connected. At least there were some good pubs. It was in one such pub that we had our first encounter with the locals.
“And this is [name forgotten]“ said one of the friendlier barflies, “He’s the pot washer in your hotel actually.”
“Really?” I replied, “You do a great job, you could almost eat your dinner off them.”
As the night wore on it turned out it was pot washers 21st birthday, and to celebrate this fact, he had got a tattoo. Upon reaching such a milestone in a man’s life, I can understand the need to mark the occasion with something memorable. I marked my own 21st by being sick out of my nose by 10pm, a cherished memory. It did not take much persuading on my part to convince him to lift his sleeve and show us his new body art.
“It’s a big fish?” I enquired.
“Yeah, because I live near the sea and that.”
He had a point. He did. Probably still does, as I would hate to think he would move to the city just days after having approximately four hundred fish scales painstakingly etched into his upper arm.
“Do you fish a lot then?”
“A bit, I suppose.”
“So has the other arm got a rod on it with a line going across the top of your shoulders?”
“No, why?”
I have never understood tattoos, and I feel quite sure that this young man will wake up in the sometime soon and scream, “What the FUCK have I done?”
Or maybe he won’t.
5 Responses to “Big Fish”










August 18th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I’ve never been tempted to get a tattoo. Not since my friend’s mum (aged… well seemed like 60 to me at the time but who knows) showed me the dragon she had done on her leg when she was younger. Much younger. Say, prior to gaining rather a large amount of weight and experiencing that crepey skin thing that happens eventually. When a colleague proudly described the squashed fairy she had just had inscribed on her bum I chose not to share this experience. I figure she’ll find out for herself eventually.
August 18th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Tattoos are definitely one of those things that you need to think very seriously about. if you have your paramours name tattoo’ed across your butt you’re virtually begging them to dump you a week later.
The only time I’ve ever been to Cornwall was in the early 90’s for an Easter Break. While we were there we went to this little Theme Park called something like Merlin’s Kingdom or Merlin’s World (can’t remember the exact name and a google turns up nothing). Merlin’s Semi-Detached Garden would be a better name it was a few kiddie rides and arcade games squeezed into someone’s garden.
We arrived mid-morning and apart from about 2 staff we had the whole place to ourselves up to about lunchtime.
August 18th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
A big fish?
August 19th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I reckon he won’t. A tattoo becomes something of a friend, even as it ages and fades.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Can always change the fish into a prehistoric monster where the wrinkles won’t matter….or laser treatment