I am back from my little break, and have been catching up what on what everyone has been up to.  This post at Cliff’s place made me chuckle, and though I vehemently avoid memes, I thought I would give this one a go.

1. My uncle once: told me a rude joke that made me laugh so hard a bit of wee came out.

2. Never in my life: have I said boo to a goose.  Though I really want to, one day.

3. When I was five: I dated my first older woman.  Not that I had much say in the matter.

4. High school was: about four years too long.

5. I will never forget: jumping out of an aeroplane.

6. Once I met: Paul Gascoigne, pre-mental health issues.

7. There’s this girl I know: who thought the space shuttle landed like the rocket on Button Moon.

8. Once, at a bar: I bought everyone in the place a drink.  It was quite empty though.

9. By noon, I’m usually: turning off my alarm clock again.

10. Last night: I wrote a three-page introduction to a brochure for a lads holiday I am going on next month. It was loaded with Nazi jokes.

11. If only I had: the chance to do it all again.

12. Next time I go to church: will be a wedding or a funeral.

13. What worries me most: are things I think I’ve forgotten.

14. When I turn my head left I see: a window and a tree.  Sometimes a squirrel or two.

15. When I turn my head right I see: a whiteboard with ideas for sketches on it.

16. You know I’m lying when: I over elaborate.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: my first BMX.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Ford.

19. By this time next year: I’ll be playing it cool Trig.  That’s right isn’t it?

20. A better name for me would be: I am a bit busy at the moment.

21. I have a hard time understanding: blind faith.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: probably end up with another one of those restraining orders.

23. You know I like you if: I offer to buy you a drink.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: the courier, for successfully delivering the bribe.

25. Take my advice, never: argue with someone who has fifty pounds on you..

26. My ideal breakfast is: poached eggs on toast, with brown sauce and a large mug of coffee.

27. A song I love but do not have is: Sympathy for the Devil, The Rolling Stones

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: take a long, long shower.

29. Why won’t people: do as I say?

30. If you spend a night at my house: let me know in advance.  It saves on awkward breakfast conversation.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: about 20 minutes, then she might get a bit annoyed.

32. The world could do without: Jade Goody.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick Jade Goody.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Sarah Alexander and Amy Smart.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: having someone hold your papers together for you.

36. If I do anything well it’s: probably because I copied someone else first.

37. I can’t help but: agree, most of the time.

38. I usually cry: extremely rarely.  I can’t actually remember the last time.  Actually I can, it was about four years ago.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: don’t stand up in a rubber dinghy.

40. And by the way: all of the above is absolutely true, probably.

If you want to have a go, feel free.

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