I hate sexism. Especially when it is us poor men who are being discriminated against. We have a hard enough time as it is without organisations singling us out for special treatment.
I am talking of course about the purveyors of spam emails.
I am sick and tired of being offered a bigger penis, especially when I have to spend time working out the code in which they speak before I realise I am actually being offered a bigger penis.
“Update your manstick!”
“Be admired for your true male merits!”
“More meat is never excessive!”
I honestly thought that last one was from Dewhurst the master butchers.
But can someone tell me why is there no spam offering to “Update your mamories!”? Why am I not being told that “More breast is never excessive!”? If anything, these statements are more factually correct anyway. Everyone knows that boobs can be as big as you want them to be.
It also seems that surgery is no longer needed for us men, with a simple drug regime offering all of the ‘excessive meat’ benefits listed above. Not that I could ever be in favour of a daily regime of pill taking to affect sexual organs, as if something like that would ever be popular!
These pills I am consistently offered are just further examples of sexism though. I have never seen an advert offering a pill that produces a smaller vagina. I reject the claims that the invention of such a pill would lead to men all over the world crushing them up and putting them in womens drinks. That would be stupid. It might affect the potency of the Rohypnol.
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Brennig · June 25, 2008 at 9:18 am
Wouldn’t want a pill to produce a smaller vagina anyway! It’s bloody tough enough finding one big enough for my cock as it is!
StokeySiren · June 25, 2008 at 9:50 am
Marry please Mr Brennig
StokeySiren · June 25, 2008 at 9:50 am
Marry me even
Amy · June 25, 2008 at 10:49 am
See, Brennig, that is why I call you Uncle Perv
I really, truly, honestly don’t understand the appeal of “more meat” on men’s “manstick”s. Why would you want to feel you’re being stabbed with an extra-wide broom handle during sex?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · June 25, 2008 at 11:14 am
Brennig – You really should try a human vagina. I can not recommend them enough.
Keef · June 25, 2008 at 12:28 pm
So all these claims you girls make about it’s not the size that matters are untrue then?
Lin · June 25, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Size matters x
Admin comment by Mr Angry · June 25, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Size does indeed matter. If you’ve got an abnormally large vagina.
Sewmouse · June 25, 2008 at 2:41 pm
It is possible to have unnaturally large mammaries that need a bit of “deflating”.
Especially if said mammaries get past the “perky teen” years and begin to batter against the knees.
Not that I know about this personally, of course.
Mujja · June 25, 2008 at 3:17 pm
There is no such thing as “an abnormally large vagina.” just inadequately sized “mansticks”…sorry boys size matters big time….
Amy · June 25, 2008 at 4:08 pm
… I’m obviously abnormal in the penis-wanting stakes then.
Does no one honestly not care about size? No one? No? Just me? Okay.
*slinks off into corner*
Misty · June 25, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Size does not matter, trust me on this.
Angry – no need for Rohypnol with me, I am definetley a good time girl. Without the need for any surgical enhancements or reductions thankyou very much.
Ian · June 25, 2008 at 6:05 pm
ha ha ha
Never heard of boob jobs then…
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Gunner’s Pick Up Diary
AFC30K · June 25, 2008 at 8:56 pm
I guy I was in the Army with was renound for his extra large ‘manstick’. Having seen the offending article (he got it out in the boozer one night after we all took the piss out of him) the sight silenced us all.
He reckoned it was a curse, he got loads of shags but no one came back after ‘being ripped appart’ as he put it.
Wifey recons as long as it’s big enough to make an impact then it’s more technique than size (is that a veiled put down?)
Jason · June 26, 2008 at 5:37 am
Army?? Wouldn’t a lucrative career in the porn industry have been a better choice?
Antipholus Papps · June 26, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I wrote something about this phenomenon just the other week. I consider them found art!
Gnarlyswine · June 26, 2008 at 1:59 pm
And here is me thinking the offers of enhancing my Spam Javelin were an advert for a new Internet security product – never could figure out where the weird pump thing was supposed to go on my PC.
Jenna · June 26, 2008 at 5:50 pm
I don’t think that’s spam. I think those are love letters from your ex-girlfriends. they all just so happened to end up in the pharmaceutical business. their english is still sketchy after being deported back to North Korea.
Megan · June 26, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Size matters BUT only within these scientifically proven parameters:
http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/6393/1165477430816ls4.gif
How does one sign up to be the scientist researching this stuff? Is it close to the queue for the research project into the optimal size of boobs?
Z · June 26, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Oh darling, if you were getting any, you wouldn’t be so sensitive.
ninja chinchilla · June 26, 2008 at 10:45 pm
I’m a firm believer that size doesn’t matter. As they say, it’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with it that counts.
Jaime · July 4, 2008 at 12:28 am
The only reason you are getting all of these advertisements is because you look at too much internet porn and the sites have recorded & sold your login information to all of the “big dick” pill companies. You are not smart… women slice and dice themselves everyday to look better and you’re complaing about getting sexist emails? Go to a few plastic surgery sites then you can receive equal treatment… you’ll receive spam concerning breast augmentation, lip enhancement, areola reduction, vaginal reconstructive surgery, neck lift, face lift, eye lift, get skinny, look younger, bla, bla, bla. Shut up, you suck.