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Autobiographical confessions
8 Comments · Posted by Mr Angry in Celebrities, Current Affairs
Celebrity autobiographies always contain confessions, whether they be of a drug taking past, or a dubious history of bulimia.
In keeping with this trend Cherie Blair’s recent autobiography contained the confession that she spent the night with Tony the first night that they met. A lot of women will say she gave it up to early, but personally I can only think that maybe Tony was alright after all. I think that this incident might also be the first recorded use of Rohypnol, though Tony probably used it on himself. There are only so many experiences you want to endure whilst sober.
I have to wonder though, at what point during the evening did he start chatting her up? I have always thought of Cherie as a ‘ten-to-two’ bird. The one you chat up when all other options have exhausted themselves. I am not being mean, it is just that there is a natural order for such things. That said, one of my friends has had great success by bucking the trend and ‘going ugly early’.
One of the my ex-girlfriends got extremely upset when a bloke tried to chat her up at just before 2am, not because she had a boyfriend at the time (me) but because he hadn’t tried it on earlier even though she was a ten-to-one bird at the very least. You women are truly fickle creatures.
So, do we think any less of Cherie and Tony as a result of this confession? Absolutely not. In fact, it sheds an entirely new light on any young couple you might see getting together in the nightclub of your choice. Just remember, you could we watching a future Prime Minister and Judge. So make sure you take a photo.
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8 comments
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Keef · May 21, 2008 at 9:44 am
That’s a different definition of ten to two from the one I’ve normally heard. A 10 to 2 bird is one where you to bed at 2 with a 10 and wake up at 10 with a 2 but yours is just as good, Cherie is not so much a case of needing liquid confidence but of getting so absolutely blasted that you’re wearing beer eyepatches rather than beer goggles (unlike the current First Lady of France say what you like about the Frogs but Madame Sarkozy is HOT).
Hats off to Tony though my opinion of him has risen a bit here no woman has ever spent the night with me on the night we first met not even an ugly one.
Brennig · May 21, 2008 at 11:59 am
Cherie is obviously – despite (or perhaps because of?) that huge Lords Cricket Stand of a gob – a game old bird. Not only did she get jiggy with Tone on the first night but she’s still at it, banging away like a barn door in a high wind.
This raises questions:
a) Has Tone got an absolutely massive hampton and is he capable of throwing it around with orgasm-induced regularity? Or
b) Does Cherie run wet quicker than a kitchen tap and cum faster than our postwoman riding her boneshaker down the village cobbles?
As to Tone’s youthful success:
1) Did Cherie’s quick rollover lure him in to a world of quick and easy sex therefore blinding him to Cherie’s obvious disability, or
2) Is he a man of so little sexual ambition he thought ‘Fuck yeah, this one goes. She’ll do for me!’ – and went no further with his wild oat sewing? Or event
3) Did he think it unlikely any other bird with the required amount of limbs would fall for his ways so he stuck with the first dip in the bargain bin?
These things need careful pondering and might, in some way, explain some of his past policy decisions.
xl · May 21, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Perhaps his “chatting her up” was a little like Question Time, but with more alcohol.
Equine Pimp · May 21, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Honestly, would it hurt you to put “Don’t read this while eating” at the top of posts like this?
On a list of things I don’t need to think about whie consuming food this particular topic would be quite high
Brennig – way too much thought on this one. Seek help
Jo · May 21, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Or a Jude Law and Kimberley Stewart, if the pictures in today’s sun are to be believed.
Vicus Scurra · May 22, 2008 at 8:43 am
I’m with Equine Pimp on this. (By that I agree with the comment – I have no knowledge of equine pimping, and no desire to change that state). We don’t need to know about any of this do we? I am trying very hard not to imagine what it would be like to wake up next to either Mr or Mrs Blair.
Manic · May 27, 2008 at 8:08 pm
The fact that he was capable of fucking a creature like Cherie only confirms what a loony he always was.
Manic · May 27, 2008 at 8:09 pm
By the way. Change my bloody addy yer lazy git! No longer Four Dinners due to external influences.
I’m a rebel don’t yer know…