I have never been a bully. At school I was far too popular to see the need for resorting to violence to boost my ego. For that reason I sometimes struggle to understand the mentality of people who seek influence by fear.
There are some basics that I do understand however. Firstly, if you are selecting a target, you select someone you are confident in attacking. Someone who you can definitely beat up, or whose response will be so weak that you will be seen to gain a ‘victory’.
You do not, under any circumstances, attack the mental kid. Because he will kick. Your. Arse.
It is the unpredictable nature of the mental kid that makes him such an avoidable target. Mentals already have a famous knack for uncovering hidden depths of super human strength, without you giving them an excuse find it.
No, it is much safer for the bully to pick a fight in which he will not be embarrassed.
Which is why Al Qaeda are a bit like a school bully. Yes, they have a stated aim of ridding the world of the anti-Islamic infidels in the West, but that is obviously just a cover. They have chosen to ignore the mental kid in the corner of the playground, China. You see, in China, Islam is essentially ILLEGAL. Not frowned upon, or simply a minority. No. It is effectively banned.
Now you would think that this would be cause enough for Al Qaeda to flex it’s muscles in China’s general direction, wouldn’t you? But no, that would be liking prodding the mental kid with a shitty stick. Only in this case the mental kid is the biggest kid in the WORLD, and he has nuclear weapons.
Whilst the the West will take on Al Qaeda is carefully (or not) chosen battlegrounds, China would simply send a few dozen nuclear missiles their way and we’d be left trying to explain to our grand-kids what this place they read about in the history books, the Middle East, was actually like “back in the day.”
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JDsg · May 20, 2008 at 8:00 am
Islam is hardly “banned” or “illegal” in China. Muslims in China are believed to range anywhere between 20-100 million.
Curious · May 20, 2008 at 8:47 am
Seeing how Google supports JDsg’s claim, i’m still going to admire your ingenuity and oddly true observation… why are they not attacking china (+/- muslim population)? hmmm…
Oli · May 20, 2008 at 8:54 am
Because china does no have a majority of christian troops on Islamic soil
GeorgeC · May 20, 2008 at 9:19 am
Because if they attack China, who is going to make the new Bin-Laden endorsed range of Tomy toys.
Tomy Bin-Laden playset: Butcher the infidels, comes with real tortured scream sounds!
Admin comment by Mr Angry · May 20, 2008 at 10:05 am
JDsg – Is that true? Booo! This is the first time my “talking to people in the pub” method of fact collection has let me down. I am truly disappointed.
Mark · May 20, 2008 at 10:56 am
I’m guessing that “Curious” is not using company property to Google that information! I think that is probably the quickest way to receiving my P45. IT would be at my desk quicker than Dwayne Chambers oin steriods!
Brennig · May 20, 2008 at 11:04 am
Can’t help noting that the Chinese are flogging (pardon the pun) various Islamic terrorist groups weapons; Chinese copies of AK47s most notably, but also Chinese RPGs and Chinese copies of various 9mm pistols.
gnarlyswine · May 20, 2008 at 1:46 pm
“Can’t help noting that the Chinese are flogging (pardon the pun) various Islamic terrorist groups weapons; Chinese copies of AK47s most notably, but also Chinese RPGs and Chinese copies of various 9mm pistols.”
So China is doing its bit to fight terrorism then – they are probably all made with lead based paint and other toxins.
Keef · May 20, 2008 at 2:17 pm
That’s actually a superb pun there gnarlyswine, guns? lead? toxic?
quality my friend absolute quality.
hongkonger · May 20, 2008 at 3:55 pm
There are 13 million if them. 1% of the population – up on the borders with the ’stans. They’re not really ethnically Chinese. They are kept in their box and if they get out the consequences for them are rather terminal. And, yes, your parallels with the school bully are probably right.
Manic · May 20, 2008 at 6:37 pm
According to many of my school friends I was the mental kid. As I was never bullied there may be some small truth in that…
We should blow up bits of China and frame Bin Ladens mob. China nuke the countries where he might be and hey presto problems solved.
Vote for me.
Chalcedon · May 21, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Hmmmmmm………..very interesting analogy. We had such a kid. Someone unwisely did prod him too far, a chair was thrown and a knife was pulled. Bear in mind the school uniform was a grey suit and we had a school song in Latin and I think that gives you a bit of perspective.
Check out this here Chinese mortar
http://reportonarrakis.blogspot.com/2008/02/dont-buy-chinese.html
Chalcedon · May 21, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Check out the Chinese made mortar
http://reportonarrakis.blogspot.com/2008/02/dont-buy-chinese.html
Rudi Somerlove · May 26, 2008 at 9:10 am
I totally agree with your take on school bullies. Funnily enough that’s the subject of my (monthly-ish) blog too. It’s about the moment that I decided to stop being an easy target and make a stand. I definitely think it changed my life for the better, and my way of looking at things, if not my entire persona.
Regarding China. Of course no-one wants to take them on not even the ‘good ole’ U.S. of A. Huge mental kid in the playground who specialises in martial arts, never smiles and revels in bizarre sadistic gameshows. No way hosé!