Tue 13 May 2008
People often ask me what sort of person I am, whether I am a ‘glass half full’, or ‘glass half empty’ sort of person. I inevitably respond by making it clear I am the sort of person who would never serve anyone half a glass of anything, and I expect to be treated the same.
Who gives out half a glass of drink anyway? The tight bastards. I can imagine the first person to ever to ask this utterly shit philosophical question was merely short of booze and looking for a way to justify short changing their guests.
“Hang on, this glass of beer seems to be missing a quantity of liquid.”
“Ah yes!” responds the completely inadequate host “But the question is, do you think the glass is half empty, or half full?”
“Are you taking the piss? You’ve run out of booze again haven’t you?”
“No, I am merely interested in determining your philosophical outlook on life.”
“Get fucked! I knew we should’ve had gone to Dave’s for poker night. This is fucking shit.”
Don’t be a tight arse, fill up everyone’s glass.
12 Responses to “Half full?”
May 13th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Mine’s a Guinness if you’re taking orders, Angry.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Mine’s a double while you are making, please.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:24 am
So, definitely half empty as far as you’re concerned, Angry.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:46 am
I think some people in the home counties just take those government guidelines about alcohol units etc too seriously sometimes.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:37 am
It’s like that other well known saying that you can’t have your cake and eat it. Surely the whole point of having a cake is to eat it, what else are you going to do with it?, use it as a football?, plaster the walls?
Personally it’s best when the glass is empty because yo can go to the bar and get another.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:42 am
I think what this “psychological exercise” misses out on is the fact that glass fill-volume is relative to the action directly preceeding the question. Should the penultimate act be that of pouring, then of course, the glass is only half full, however should the previous act be that of drinking, then the glass would now be half empty and perhaps in need of freshening.
*nodding wisely*
May 13th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
“Is the glass half full or half empty?”
“It’s half empty and it’s your round…”
DK
May 13th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I’ve only ever imagined you as on ‘full’ or ‘empty’ :p
May 13th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
That’s all very well for you optimists and pessimists but what about us pedants? Maybe the glass is just too big, or too small.
May 14th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Half Empty, Half Full, who cares, as long as you get to hit people who make stupid comments like that! *gah*
May 14th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Oh wait, I don’t mean you, I mean people who ask you the half empty/half full question
*runs off to hide from your wrath*
May 15th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Mine’s empty before I know it. Probably ’cause I’m a pisshead.