Vegetarians should die out soon, right?
I do not understand how vegetarianism is so popular. It makes no sense whatsoever. It is entirely against our evolutionary imperative as human beings (my apologies to all the non human beings reading this in the future).
It is not that I dislike vegetarians personally. Not at all. In fact, I have met some quite fit vegetarians over the years, I just imagine them to be less than enthusiastic lovers. I guess I am the kind of guy who thinks that any woman capable of sucking the meat off a T-Bone is a good egg.
Vegetarianism just does not make sense. To make my point I would ask you to take evolution back a few thousand years and picture a hungry carnivore in his cave, if he was starving he would simply go out and bang the nearest Buffalo on it’s head, and then “Pow!” He is fed.
But what if you were to picture his herbivore neighbour in the same hungry predicament. Did he wander outside and ask himself, “I wonder how that potato I planted this morning is getting on?”
I do not think it is any coincidence that we have yet to discover any cave paintings of broccoli florets.
The only acceptable reason to be a vegetarian is not a love of animals, but that you really hate plants.
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May 1st, 2008 at 8:40 am
Try living with a vegan then, they don’t eat anything except paper and the occasional crisp packet. No wait, she was a vulcan!
May 1st, 2008 at 9:20 am
Perhaps Vegetarians are becoming our future food source? In 21 years when the world moves on and cows don’t exist any more, we (that is to say real meat eating humans) will have to find a new source of meat for the good Sunday roast.
I think of Vegetarians and I am instantly reminded of Corn-Fed Chicken! Vegetarians are like meat already suffused with the obligatory two-veg!
May 1st, 2008 at 9:41 am
The veggies, with their self-righteous holy-er than thou attitude, (shudder).
I don’t know any, my friends aren’t that dumb.
May 1st, 2008 at 9:51 am
I’ve lived with a few veggies. Imagine you’ve come home from a night at the inn to find nought but a potato and half an onion in the cupboard. 20 minutes later a delicious veggie curry sits before you. It was ace.
They used to say, “If you don’t know the difference between a bean and a pulse, you’re not a proper veggie.” Cutting out meat does not make you a veggie, it just makes you an anaemic dumbass.
The best gift for a veggie is Stevie Wonder’s “The Secret Life of Plants.”
May 1st, 2008 at 1:22 pm
So - will Soylent Green be made of Vegetarians?
May 1st, 2008 at 1:27 pm
To be Honest I try to have a vegetarian lunch most days for diet reasons - the old weight watchers - theres usually less points involved. To make up for it ethically, I try to run over at least one creature on my drive home, unfortunately on a lot of days this means a squirrel in a tree (difficult), a skunk (the smell lasts rather a long time) or someone walking their dog along the pavement(the police are not particularly understanding).
May 1st, 2008 at 1:33 pm
It’s amazing what new foods you try if you just don’t eat meat. Just think, that disgusting grass drink as made by Gillian McKeith, Urrggh! Or those bloody awful Linda McCartney meals in a packet, aaarrrhhh! But then again dark choc is good for you, hurrahhhh
May 1st, 2008 at 1:39 pm
George - I’ve never seen a healthy Veggie, never mind one I’d eat.
Jaggy - Snap.
Glammer - The chances are if you don’t know the difference between a bean and a pulse you’re probably not nauseatingly dull?
gnarlyswine - I admire your efforts in bringing balance to the eco system.
Lin - They can’t enjoy that stuff. Really, they can’t, surely?
May 1st, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Vegetarian “burgers,” “turkey,” “gravy,” “sausages,” etc. WTF? Vegetarians, just eat whatever glop it really is.
May 1st, 2008 at 4:08 pm
My wife bought a copy of the Linda McCartney cookbook some years ago just to experiment and see what the dishes were like, most of them require this meat substitute stuff and she
had a struggle getting hold of it until she had a brain wave which was to use meat as the meat substitute. Most of Linda McCartney’s dishes are in fact pretty good if made with chicken or pork rather than soya steaks.
May 1st, 2008 at 6:14 pm
My vegetarian office person claims he is a vegetarian because he loves the animals SOOOO much. So what, I asked him, do you imagine will happen to all the cows in the world if you have your wicked way and force the rest of us off beef? Will the ranchers begin plaiting their tails and giving them bovine Brazilians and offering them out as “escorts” or something? He didn’t answer, just continued on his way carefully carrying a cockroach out of the building so he could put it somewhere safe.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:05 pm
i love animals too. that’s why i have a dog that i had the vet chop the nuts off and then isolate him in my apartment during the day while i work, hangout, whatever. i do allow him 3 minutes to plop a load by my neighbor’s tree and maybe 15 curious seconds or so to sniff the privates of other canines passing by. no more than 15 seconds though, that’s when i reprimand him publicly for trying to get his grove on with shaggy bitches in the park.
May 1st, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I live a totally balanced life as a between meal vegetarian. Can’t say fairer than that can you boyo.
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
“gnarlyswine - I admire your efforts in bringing balance to the eco system.”
Qui Gon Gin said i was the chosen one after all.
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Hmm. I’m vegetarian, but I have no morals about it. Meat and fish just don’t agree with me, and I don’t like the taste. Couldn’t care less what other people eat, really.
May 4th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
The only veggies I have a passing acquaintance with is either a sheep or cow as I pass by a farmer’s field.
I do love veggie curries though, as a side dish to my lamb or chicken vindallo/madras/bhuna/rogan josh etc.
Unfortunately the two daughters still at home are vegetarian and take a very snooty attitude to my diet.