It is late and I am pissing about on Facebook, in my real account, not my I am Livid one. I have accepted a friend request from someone and almost immediately a message appears in my Inbox.

“Hi angry saw u were online so thought id say hi. do u remember me at all.”

I begin to feel like I have made a terrible, terrible mistake.

It is all well and good accepting Facebook friend requests from people with whom you share mutual school friends. They must have been at school with you, right? I am notoriously bad with names, but very good with faces, so if I see a picture of someone I recognise, I accept the request.

But she had not put up a photo when the request came through. Instead it was the generic blue question mark. We had five joint friends, some of whom were quite fit at school, so I decided to accept her.

But now the dilemma. No, I did not remember her. Which means she was definitely not on the A List of school hotties. I remember those particular girls very very well indeed.

I was at a complete loss.

So, did I say that I did not remember her and admit, somewhat embarrassingly, that I accepted her request because of some shared fit female friends we have?

Or pretend that, “Yeah, of course I remember you. How could I forget! Oh the laughs we had. You know, with our other joint friends and that. And the teachers, phew, they were a nightmare weren’t they? Yeah, I remember everything about school. Definitely. So tell me about what you’ve been up to. Do you still have the same height, hair, weight or distinguishing marks that you might want to mention?”

I imagine if there is a process on Facebook for having a friend removed she is in the middle of it right now.

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