Things I have learnt this week
Apparently an incredibly bad haircut and a ridiculous name are not considered ‘cruel’ by the RSPCA. Technically they consider any report of such crimes to be ‘time-wasting’. I bet it would be different if it were my Labrador shaved like Lion and called Fifi.
If your girlfriend mentions an itch she ‘just can’t scratch’ she is not politely suggesting you buy her an industrial sized pot of Canestan. She is dumping you.
And it is very difficult to return large pots of Canestan.
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April 25th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Bloody hell, does this mean you actually managed to get a girlfriend?
April 25th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Angry, you just have to stop concentrating on the bad times. I can instantly see a plus to all of this…
You will not be short of a Nacho dip (albeit a funky flavour) for years to come!
April 25th, 2008 at 9:27 am
WTF are you talking you about Angry? I know that we live in a society in which personal responsibility is going out of vogue but why would you ring the RSPCA to tell them you’ve got a bad haircut and a daft moniker. Do you expect them to prosecute either a) the barber or b) your parents for you?
I’ve never been dumped by a woman telling me she couldn’t scratch an itch, they tend to be MUCH less subtle. I’ve been on the receiving end of “fuck off we’re through”, “it’s not really working out between us is it?” and the all time low blow of my life.
“I wouldn’t marry you anyway,I’ve found someone better”
April 25th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Oddly enough, in Embra yesterday, a case of dog abuse was reported in the local meeja. Seems, in Davidson Mains park, two pensioners hit a passing dog across the head with their walking sticks. The police are appealing for witnesses in their attempts to track them down. They were described as;
Both wearing tracksuits, the man approximately six foot, five inches and bald, the woman about five foot tall with grey hair cut in a pudding bowl cut. One of the walking sticks had deer antlers on the end.
Now, I have to ask. How fugging difficult should it be to track this couple down? You won’t be surprised to hear the police haven’t managed it yet.
April 25th, 2008 at 11:16 am
I take it the seal on the Caneston was broken then …… probably half used as well….bloody customers!
April 25th, 2008 at 11:23 am
GeorgeC - If I stopped concentrating on the bad things this website would die a very swift death…
Keef - I was reporting a DOG!
Lin - That’s not the point. The customer is always right.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
“girlfriend mentions an itch”
The public health authorities may be getting in touch with you soon.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Angry went out with a dog?
April 25th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
You could always keep the canestan and use it for wedding gifts if you’re too late getting hold of the wedding list?
April 25th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I should think large pots of canesten are also rather difficult to buy without raising a smile from the pharmacist…
April 26th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
My mate and I have a secret organisation known as the S.O.S., which stands for Save Our Stuff. We go round to the homes of blokes who’ve been dumped and take their stuff for safe keeping before they give it away in a ridiculous attempt to win her back. She, of course, has a new nest planned and needs your TV, stereo, bank details and suchlike. As our patron saint, Ben Folds out of the Ben Folds Five, so wisely said, “Give me my money back, give me my money back, you bitch. And don’t forget my black teeshirt.”
April 26th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
‘Cept it’s not really that secret now, is it?
April 27th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
*passes tissue*
April 27th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Freecycle em believe me you get lots of interesting emails.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Birds, eh? Can’t live with ‘em etc.