Yes, one of the hits of Saturday night television in the early nineties is coming back after being revived by Sky television. A huge plus in the new shows favour is that it will be presented by the very definition of MILF, Kirsty Gallagher.
When it comes to Gladiators, I have a small confession to make. I once went to watch Gladiators being filmed in Birmingham. In my defence, I was taking my younger brother who was about eight at the time, so I have perfectly legitimate excuse. Sort of. All those telephoto lens shots I took of Jet were for my brother’s collage. On her part, I think the restraining order was a bit over the top to be honest.
However, society has moved on since those halcyon days. Today’s streets are full of knife fights, ASBO wielding teenagers and filthy paedophiles, so I hope the producers will be taking this societal shift on board.
I always felt that Gladiators was just a small step from becoming Arnie’s film, The Running Man. This Gladiator revival could be an excellent opportunity to make that final leap.
Who wants to watch a body-conscious pretty-boy stock broker trying to run up a slightly quick escalator against the clock? Wouldn’t you rather watch a skinny chav, who has been caught carrying a knife, have a fight to the death with Rhino? I know I would.
What about teenage cat burglar playing Hang Tough above a pit of poisonous snakes?
Wouldn’t that just be an enormous ratings winner?
What other events would you like to see brought into the new series?
No tags
18 comments
<< Saint George
Brennig · April 23, 2008 at 8:20 am
Woo! How excellent. Sadly only going to be shown on Sky One which puts us FreeView folk out of the picture. Ha ha.
Anyway to the question.
I’d like to see, instead of community service orders, convicted thugs bash each other with those long gian cotton-bud things. That would be truly excellent.
Oh.
Each standing on a high podium set in a tank of industrial strength hydrochloric acid.
Did I forget the last bit?
Brennig · April 23, 2008 at 8:21 am
* giant…
TOWTAL · April 23, 2008 at 9:11 am
Kirsty Gallacher mud wrestling – as an example to the other gladiators
To be fair I think she is a KGILF or an ILF rather than a MILF. The M takes down the sex wee rating a notch or two.
GeorgeC · April 23, 2008 at 9:22 am
TOWTAL – you have a rating for sex wee?
Equine Pimp · April 23, 2008 at 9:58 am
GeorgeC – I can’t believe you are engaging TOWTAL in a conversation.
Schoolboy error.
Angry – best clear the page, that explanation from TOWTAL will involve
a lot of scrolling
Keef · April 23, 2008 at 10:11 am
There’s a scene in Running Man about a show called Climbing for Dollars where some guy is climbing up a rope grabbing dollar bills while half a dozen rottweilers are trying to pull him off. That strikes me as very appropriate for some of the chav estates around here. We could have Climbing for Your Giro.
You’re definitely onto something here Angry, there’s a Japanese show called Takashi’s Castle where they start off with a hundred crazy ass nips and weed them down to half a dozen with various games such as trying to knock them off a rope bridge by firing balls at them, we could use bullets instead.
Lin · April 23, 2008 at 11:01 am
Takashi’s Castle is brilliant – not being too hard but we could use this idea and all those that fail could be sent to Afghanistan or maybe Zimbabwe etc as targets for practice along with all ECP’s and the present government and mayors up for election. Then taxpayers could use their own money for sensible things like new shoes etc.
Cliff · April 23, 2008 at 11:29 am
I’d like to see a kind of Bus Shelter alcopops run event.
Grumpy B · April 23, 2008 at 11:51 am
Personally, I would also like to see our ASBO bemedalled Chavs given community service orders to host any of the more popular gardening, home improvement, super-nanny or personal makeover programs. Those seeking their 5 minutes of TV fame would surely love to see their gardens tastefully enhanced with a carefully placed 1986 Ford Capri Mk III (in need of some attention, three wheels and a back axle), and see how much time it saves on mowing.
A fridge placed beside the wide screen TV is so much more practical, and stops the beer losing its chill on the long walk from the kitchen. And really, wasn’t it about time the kids got to see how a magistrates court really works?
The makeover program would be the best though; style tips from a chav. Who would miss it?
Sam · April 23, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I liked the danger zone one, where they fired shit at the contenders and they had to run through it. I’d suggest sending Islamic extremists through there and using live ammunition, but that’s just my tuppence.
In fact, just getting rid of safety nets and generally enhancing the danger of death would be much more exciting.
gnarlyswine · April 23, 2008 at 1:29 pm
“I’d like to see, instead of community service orders, convicted thugs bash each other with those long gian cotton-bud things. That would be truly excellent.”
could they be dipped in glue then broken glass first then?
xl · April 23, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Battle Of The Wits
Gladiators vs members of the royal family (and assorted hangers-on) in a trivia challenge.
Aimee · April 23, 2008 at 3:29 pm
how about good-natured pedophiles vs. undersexed convicts?
Scaryduck · April 23, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I had the misfortune of seeing ITV’s dreadful Gladiator-lite spoiler programme “Beat the Star” last weekend.
Despite the claim in the trailer regarding “a member of the public who would rather die than lose”, I was DISGUSTED that they let him live at the end of the show.
They promised blood and we got none. It’s like The Late Late Breakfast Show never happened.
Megan · April 23, 2008 at 6:40 pm
I think we should adapt Survivor a bit.
First, we should be able to vote who goes to the deserted island. Perhaps it could be split into two varieties – the political figures version and the celebrities who should shut the fuck up version.
Second the season should be much, much shorter. The first episode has the crew show up at the appropriate house and politely but firmly remove the individual. Cut to island where entire cast is unceremoniously dropped of. Second episode has the cameras turn up again after a year or two just to see if anyone is still alive.
I know I’d watch it.
Vamos666 · April 23, 2008 at 6:45 pm
I think Bill Hicks nailed it when he suggested putting the thick necked retard gladiators in a cage with chainsaws and leave ‘em to it.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · April 23, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Takeshi’s Castle is indeed genius. I see no reason why that show could not work over here. There are loads of Japs in the UK.
It is also disappointing to hear about the lack of any killing to death in Beat The Star.
Ron,Apparently · April 25, 2008 at 4:00 am
I’m more in favour of the game theme along the lines of the “Stone Cold” Steve Austin & Vinnie Jones movie “The Condemned”. Dumped on an island, no escape and fights to the death, broadcast for our entertainment. I would place anyone convicted of crimes against the person e.g. muggers, ASB’s, burglars, kiddie fiddlers and those of that ilk. Here in America we have a vesrion of it, it’s called “life”. Fuck with my home or family, I shoot you. Seems to work quite well overall. Certainly don’t have half the chav’s you have back home.