Dear [manager at a charity to which I contribute on a monthly basis, but do not like to talk about],

Hello.

I am sure from your records that you have already identified me as a monthly contributor to your worthwhile charity. Yes, it is a modest amount. But I am a modest man, the sort of man who would never publicise my chartitable donations on a popular Internet weblog.

I am writing in connection with a number of communications I have had from yourselves in the last few months. Firstly by post, where you politely asked if I would be willing to increase my direct debit to offer further help with the great work that you do.  I already give you the money that could be spent in the pub on a pint and some delicious corn-based snacks each week.  So, as I am a man of modest means, I politely declined by disposing of your request in an ecologically sound manner.

You wrote again a month later, asking much the same. Again I politely declined, and recycled.

Then you phoned me. Or rather, an operative from a call centre phoned me, to ask if I would be willing to increase my direct debit. I made it perfectly clear that I would NOT be increasing my monthly donation, due to reduced circumstances, at which point your employee said, “What, not even by a pound?”.

I ask you, as a philanthropist, would you consider increasing your donation to a charity that appears to be spending more and more  of its donated money targeting existing contributors for further funds, rather than on the cause for which it was established?

Let me be more explicit. I am happy to donate, as I currently do, to your charity.  I think [it] is a good cause. But I am concerned that my money is merely funding unsolicited mailshots and call centre begging programmes.

This is not why I give you my quite-easily-earned-actually money.

I have made my position clear. I will not be increasing my monthly donation. As such, I am informing you that if I receive a single further request to increase my monthly donation, I will consider it waste on your part and I will immediately cancel my direct debit and move it to a charity which spends a greater proportion of its funds on its stated cause.

I do hope that this does not happen, but you have been given fair warning.

Regards,

Mr. Angry.

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