Smile dammit!
Living in an area popular with tourists, I tend to see a lot of them as the weather improves. It is a pain in the arse, frankly, but tourists can provide their moments of humour. I very much enjoy misinforming them and it brings a little joy to an otherwise dull day.
“Yes, the queen tends to get her lunchtime cornish pasty from over there, normally between 12 and 12:30. She wears a disguise, so be vigilant. She came dressed as a black teenager yesterday, she is very good.”
There is however one group of tourists that I do not understand, and that is the Japanese. They take more photographs than any other nation on the planet, yet I have never seen any of them smile in a single one of them.
They will readily stand in front of the castle or some famous monument and joke amongst themselves, but the second the picture is to be taken, it is an instant return to stoney-faced silence and a look that suggests an imminent return to Death Row.
Is smiling in photographs a social faux pas in Japan? I do not think HSBC mentioned that in their adverts, so I can not be sure. I will ask them next time I am in the branch.
Or maybe I am wrong and have been a bit of a racist, and it is fact the Chinese that fail to smile? That would be more easily understood if you imagine their return to China and interrogation at passport control.
“Did you have a good time?”
“No. It was rubbish. Look. We were miserable the whole time. We are pleased to be back in the homeland comrade. But, we can go back next year, right?”
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April 17th, 2008 at 9:35 am
There are such things as Chinese tourists from China itself? I always thought the accepted way to see the world if you came from China was concealed in the back of a lorry load of frozen food or a shipping container.
You could understand why they don’t smile much in the pictures then.
This is one of me, Wong, Hong and Dong squeezed in between the sides of frozen pork, we went first class so we had airholes.
This is Hong legging it through Dover with the roundeye cops chasing him.
This is him face down on the ground after they caught him
Oh look this is my favourite it’s me and the guys at the end of our holiday being hauled up the steps of the plane as we were deported.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Nothing to say really (as ever) but that post made me spray my special muesli over my lappy and Keef’s comments up there has made me laugh soooooo much.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Living there was a pain for commuters because the Japanese monopolise the pavements as the photographer stands against a shop window with their subject at the edge of the pavement, expecting everyone to stop while they take a picture. I feel a firm “excuse me” does the trick as you walk through. I probably adorn several mantlepieces across Tokyo, but I give no fucks for (traffic) island hopping just so a tourist can get a picture in.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Yes, it is the Chinks (which my friend Terry who has a Chinese girlfriend tells me is a pejorative term) that don’t smile. The Nips on the other hand are the ones smiling like all-too-easily-impressed teenagers and the give away with them is the compulsion to give it their best Winston Churchill V-sign in photos too. Weirdos.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Japanese do tend to smile a lot, the chinese dont so much.
My house has tourist guides talking about it all the time, theres been a few occasions when I have walked out into a group of tourist gawking at my front door listening to a tourist guide talk complete bollox. A few times I correct the tourist guide, it’s funny.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I usually see Japanese doing the touristy thing and Chinese in the Chinky take-away. They smile when you pay!
April 17th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I’ve only encountered two large lots of Japanese tourists. One was in Hawaii where the Lead Tourist (TWO cameras ’round neck) peered down into the water and said, “where the Arizona? I can’t see!” and the seven foot veteran next to him growled, “it’s right down there - where your people FUCKING LEFT IT.” They didn’t smile a whole lot at that. But they took a lot of pictures of the water which must have made for fantastic slide shows at home.
The other group was at the Grand Canyon and they were lined up right at the rim and glowering at the photographer but since he kept motioning them to take one step back, just one more, a little more… there might have been something else going on.
April 18th, 2008 at 3:16 am
The one thing you forget to mention in your post is the fact that anyone standing in front of anything so as to take a picture to show they were actually there implies their friends and colleagues have an innate distrust of them and don’t really believe they went anywhere unless bored shitless by mind-numbing slideshows. Thus compelled to provide evidence of their trip, in my opinion, marks them (regardless of race) as cunts of the highest order and deserving of any and all ridicule you or anyone else for that matter throw their way.
April 18th, 2008 at 8:33 am
I had a Chinese girlfriend once and half an hour later I wanted another one!
April 18th, 2008 at 8:42 am
The Japanese will photograph anything. The last time I was at the motorway services at Tebay there was a group of about 10 of them photographing the car park, a caravan, some lorries, anything. Walking through town once I saw some using a camcorder to film the outside of St Ann’s church. Quite what they thought the church was going to do I don’t know. I bet in Japan people dread their friends going on holiday in case they get invited round on their return to view a slide show and video of the holiday snaps. 36 days and 48000 days later “And this is us next to an Eddie Stobart lorry”…”This is us next to the ladies toilet sign at Toddington services”…..
April 18th, 2008 at 8:44 am
I meant to say 48000 pictures later but it’s Friday morning and I’m clinically braindead. Now I’m off to go back to sleep under the desk.
April 18th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Remember, Japan is a country that thinks vending machines for used schoolgirl panties is A Good Thing. Oh, hang on, that is A Good Thing. Must be the Chinese I hate then.