I am back, and in one piece, which I am sure you are all absolutely delighted to hear. I had a very nice week away, mostly, and it was heartening to see the second podcast so well received. I am particularly grateful to those of you who took precious time away from making the world a better place to tell us how shit you thought it was. It is appreciated.
I am pretty sure that we will be doing another one in the next week or so, especially after peaking at number 59 in the iTunes comedy podcast chart, and being officially funnier than Danny Baker for three whole days. Which was nice. Fat Jim and I would like to discuss your emails in the next one, so if you have something you feel would benefit from dissection from Fat Jim and I, then you can use the email in the sidebar to the right. We promise a namecheck for all the amusing ones.
Anyway, now onto my week away.
On the Saturday of my departure I wandered around Gatwick North Terminal for a while, whilst waiting for my departure gate to be announced. I meandered over to Dixons, as though I am definitely not a geek, I do quite like looking the new gadgets. Particularly impressive were the noise-cancelling headphones, but the staff in Dixons could not guarantee they would work when, with depressing inevitability, I was sat next to a screaming child on the plane.
Then I had a look at the massive televisions. It is a sort of self flagellation ritual, whereby I punish myself by seeing how much the prices have dropped in the twelve months since I bought mine.
Then it struck me as to how strange an item a massive television is to stock in the departure area of an airport. I can understand headphones, iPods, cameras etc., but who wants to take a huge television away with them in their hand luggage? I already get enough funny looks when the security people remove open my bag to examine my perfectly legitimate video surveillance equipment.
Selling televisions at airports is not something I can imagine being a particularly lucrative business venture. You are relying on people buying on spur of the moment, but I will bet that most of them realise when they leave the shop that they are actually on their way to board a plane. I bet they get absolutely loads of returns.
“Ah yes, this television. I forgot I was about to fly to the Alps so I don’t really have space for it in my hand luggage, what with my specialist magazines and tissues. I’m going to have to return it.”
After seeing the televisions for sale, I was drawn to all the other large items on offer. Especially the luggage, but I did not see anyone carrying a fortnights worth of clothes in Tesco carrier bags, so I do not know how many of those they sold either.
So it is time to fess up. What is the biggest thing you have bought in an airport?
No tags
15 comments
<< The Chalet
Glammer · March 25, 2008 at 8:49 am
Wogan gets his listeners to write his show for him, too. All Wogan does for his extortionate wage is read emails out in a silly voice. Which is why I listen to Moyles.
Still, I look forard to your Eurovision commentary.
Al · March 25, 2008 at 9:45 am
A woman!
Keef · March 25, 2008 at 9:56 am
Welcome back Angry, glad to see you didn’t do yourself a mischief this time around.
I’ve personally never bought anything other than consumables at an airport, my wife in particular refuses to get on a plane without a bottle of water since I presume she fears we’ll make a forced landing in the desert.
The largest thing I’ve seen for sale in a duty free is a Mercedes E Class at Doha in Qatar
(an actual full sized car), I thought at the time it would be a hell of a job to get it in the overhead locker onboard the aircraft.
Jaggy · March 25, 2008 at 12:38 pm
I triple full Scottish Breakfast. Carried aboard in my fuel tank.
Brennig · March 25, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Welcome back.
Erm… where do you get the iTunes listing from?
Lin · March 25, 2008 at 1:52 pm
A pop-up mosquito net!
Oli · March 25, 2008 at 1:55 pm
A toblerone, but not just any toblerone, it was 4 feet long and thicker than my arm.
mhhhhhhh
Badger · March 25, 2008 at 3:10 pm
A wife. Gotta love East Asia.
B.
gnarlyswine · March 25, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I always thought it was odd that they sell luggage – its a bit late to pack after all – but I suppose you may need somewhere to put that big screen TV, as for dissecting emails I hope your not just going to comment on splleing and grammers. I would like to see them dropped in a jar of chloroform , then pull their vowels out and pin them to a board.
Biggest thing bought – a new life – i.e. one way ticket from the UK to the land of hockey permasnow and decent beer (with honey in it for some odd reason – not as manky as it sounds)
Four Dinners · March 25, 2008 at 7:12 pm
a sheep. I had a yearning for a sheep whilst waiting to catch a flight to Latvia for a gymnastics competition. It was a blow up sheep. I blew it up. My wife threatened me with not divorcing me so I let it down again. It was a very big blow up sheep. The British gymnasts I was in charge of seemed to find the entire episode amusing and I did not appear in The News of The World.
Actually I have no idea why I bought it as I was extremely pissed at the time. Fortunately the gymnasts knew where to guide me for take off.
Jo · March 26, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Sunglasses. Seriously, they were huge. Dame Edna would be proud.
Debster · March 27, 2008 at 12:37 am
I didnt buy it, but at Heathrow they had a diamond for £47,000. Not even set into a ring. That was extra.
Oh and big tv sets? Harrods have one for £30 grand.
Debster · March 27, 2008 at 12:38 am
Actually the best thing we did buy at an airport was duty free moose droppings. Actually they were chocolate covered raisins but had to be sealed and delivered with all the rest of the duty free stuff on the plane. I was just using up spare change.
Shannon · March 27, 2008 at 3:49 am
In a moment of panic upon realizing I was about to spend 10 days stuck on a cruise ship, the first 4 Harry Potter books in hardcover. They were quite heavy.
Vicola · March 27, 2008 at 11:03 am
Cheap booze and cigs in an airport in Portugal. So cheap in fact that I gave most of my holiday clothes to some tramps who were begging outside the airport to make more room for my lovely voddie and Marlboro Lights. So if you ever spot a big burly tramp outside an airport looking like a summertime transvestite in pink flip flops and a bright coloured vest top you’ll know that I have been there and it’s worth having a gander in the duty free shop.