Do any of you out there climbing your own career ladder have a harder time at work than the recruitment staff within Al Qaeda?

I am sure that when they are pitching to potential recruits, tales of an eternal after-life in paradise, plus lots of virgins and that, is all very enticing but there is no real way around the ‘blowing yourself up’ bit. I would imagine that bit is a show-stopper in many recruitment negotiations, much like their really bad pension scheme.

If I was a recruiter for Al Qaeda (hello people from Echelon, and I said IF) I would look for the path of least resistance in getting people to sign up. If you think about it logically, the best place to go looking for potential martyrs would be in a staunchly Muslim hospice.

I know, you might think this is in bad taste, but if you are working for Osama’s army, you have really got to fancy your chances in a place like that.

“Look man, you’re gonna be dead in a couple of weeks anyway, why not have a queue of virgins waiting for you when you get to Heaven? All you’ve got to do is drive into this airport and avoid any mental looking baggage handlers in high visibility vests.”

If you can not recruit any martyrs in a place like that, then you really need to think about a change in career.

“I’m sorry Osama, I really don’t think I’m cut out for terrorist recruitment. I’m fine with the deceit, misinformation and ulterior motives, but I’m having trouble with the violence. I think I’m just going to go back to being an Estate Agent.”

Yes, people also hate estate agents, so they are probably still going to have a hard time picking up women, but at least it would provide some talking points at speed dating events and such like.

“What do I do for a living? Well, I’m an estate agent, but please don’t let that colour your judgement, because I used to recruit suicide bombers for Al Qaeda among the terminally ill Muslim population.”

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