I am just about old enough to remember Simon Bates’ Our Tune on Radio 1. For the children reading this, Our Tune was a segment of his radio show where he would read a letter from a listener detailing some sort of emotional turmoil they had undergone, and how one song in particular had helped them through the hard times. They would then play that song, which would normally be some sort of ballad, love song or something else from this musical genre.

I was listening to Radio 1 the other day when I realised that Jo Whiley has brought back this popular formula, for an entirely new generation, and has renamed it Changing Tracks. I decided to pay attention to the tale from one listener.

He told a story of a one-night stand he’d had, and how he immediately regretted it and confessed it to his girlfriend (mistake number one). She was upset, but one night he went round and played this particular song and all was forgiven.

Wow. That must be one fucking brilliant song. I listened more intently, and then they played the song.

As the pounding base began at 220 bpm I assumed they had put the wrong song on. About a minute in and I had not heard a lyric. It was a song with all the emotional depth of the Estate Agents Association AGM. I could only assume he had been forgiven as the tune had put his girlfriend into a malleable hypnotic state.

Is this what Our Tune had become?

I undertook a quick Google search and found the submissions page right here. Well, there is only one thing I could do, isn’t there?

Name: Mr Angry

Email: My Mister.angry one.

Daytime Tel: Supplied

Where you’re from: London baby

Tell us the song: Adele’s current chart hit “Chasing Payments”

Tell us your story: I came from an underprivileged background. I learned to survive on the harsh streets of Northamptonshire. It was dog eat dog for most of my childhood (though I never actually ate a dog, no matter what Fat Jim says). Coming up the hard way, career opportunities were few and far between for someone like me. One thing I seemed to have a talent for though, was extorting money. My physical presence and general demeanour seemed to make people want to pay up sooner rather than later. As you can imagine, this skill set was very much in demand, and before long I rose to the top of this particular career ladder.

Soon though, I began to question my lifestyle choice. Was I really put in this world for putting the frighteners on people and making welshers pay up, or something more? I had always wanted to paint, you know, pictures and that, but maybe it was too late for this particular leopard to change its spots. Then, one day on my way to a particularly bad payer, I heard this Adele song on Radio 1 and it was like she was actually speaking directly to me. Not like a mental though, just through the song.

“Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing payments. Even if it leads nowhere.” It was the philosophical question I had been asking myself for months and months and months.

Then it struck me. It was like one of those epiphany things from off of the movies. THIS is what I’m GOOD at. How many of us in this life get to do something they are genuinely good at? It made me think about all the characters who would lose money if it were not for me, and I finally accepted my fate, to live my life as the best possible debt collector/enforcer that I can be.

And I owe it all to Adele.

I look forward to hearing the broadcast of this particular roller-coaster of emotion any day now…

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