“Hello?”

“Hello Mother dear, it is your eldest child.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“It’s just, err, it’s, you know…”

“No, what’s wrong?”

“Well. It’s just that Coronation Street is on.”

“So?”

“Well Jack is bringing back Vera’s ashes.”

“You do realise it’s not real, right?”

“Oh don’t be like that, you know I like my programmes.”

“But I am your child!”

“Could you call back tomorrow? It’s getting quite good.”

Click.

And this dear readers, is how I discovered my place in my mothers affections. It is over there in the corner, underneath Coronation Street and only slightly above shopping at Tesco on a Saturday afternoon.

It is amazing I turned out as normal as I did.

No tags