It is understandable that readers of this site could be mistakenly under the impression that my life is one long series of disastrous events, interspersed with minor annoyances at regular intervals. Though this is mostly true, good things do happen to me from time to time.

This week was one such occurrence.

The end of January is normally a nightmare for me, due to the Tax return deadline 31st January. This usually results in me spending a week at the end of the month rifling through my poorly-kept records looking for receipts, statements, invoices etc. I hate it. I know I could get an accountant, but why would I pay an accountant a few hundred pounds for something I could do just as well. You will be suggesting I get a professional to service my boiler next.

Anyway, after a week of rooting around in dusty paperwork I was finally in a position to submit my return online.

That is when the magic happened. It appears, that due to some unwise investment decisions on my part, that the Tax man owes me NINE. HUNDRED. POUNDS.

This is unprecedented. I always owe extra. Always. It is like an unwritten law of the universe that they snuck in there between the ones about gravity and atoms and that, “The Tax man will collect a few extra pounds from Mr Angry at the end January. Every. Single. Year”.

I can only imagine this is what it must be like to turn up to court for a speeding offence, only for the magistrate to give you an expenses paid two week holiday in Dubai.

Of course, I do not actually have the cash yet, but it is surely only a matter of time. Surely?

I sincerely hope that in the coming weeks you will not be sat there reading the Jonnyb-esque headline, “I have inadvertently committed tax fraud!!!”

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