…is the best policy.
Or so they say.
Not that I am sure who ‘they’ are, of course. But I think it would be a pretty bad policy to adopt if, for example, you were a sexual predator under investigation by the police. I would definitely recommend lying in that situation. Not that I want to be seen as offering advice to sexual predators (though I think there only a couple of them that read this blog anyway).
Have you ever tried to be completely honest for a day? It is not easy.
I tried it recently and it did not go well. When you have committed to be completely honest for a day, you really do not want people actively soliciting your opinion on things that could be seen divisive or contentious.
Here are a few sample responses to questions I was asked during my day of honesty.
“Well, it looks a little bit like you’re wearing a blond crash helmet. A crash helmet that is a slightly lighter shade of blond than your hair was yesterday. So if that’s what you were aiming for, then great!”
“I can’t tonight, it’s not that I’ve got anything else on, I just find you quite tedious company.”
“No, no thanks, I really don’t want one. Last time you brought cakes into work I hid mine until you’d gone back to your desk, then threw it out.”
“‘Well, ‘look big’ compared to what?”
It is quite a cathartic experience, and I recommend it you all, apart from the sexual predators that are reading, you should all carry on lying and covering your tracks.
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Keef · January 28, 2008 at 9:36 am
You’re not married are you Angry ?
Lin · January 28, 2008 at 11:24 am
It’s a proven fact that if you persist is the silliness of being totally honest you will be mentally ill or become a Jehovas Witness.
99.9% of people lie at least 5 times in any given day. If you say you do less than this then you are lying……..
Debster · January 28, 2008 at 12:20 pm
On the contrary, I have found being totally honest to be great fun. And people rarely ask my opinion any more. I have been known to say to people after a severe haircut that they looked like a bowling ball for a face, or that I can see their knickers when the bend over, or did they just step in something?
TheShrink · January 28, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I shall let you guess whether I’m being wholly honest today.
Because, you see, you’re hugely funny and a total riot!
Genevieve · January 28, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I tried to be honest for a day once, and everyone thought I was just joking when I told them what I really thought of them/their hideous new outfit/their chances of getting that job they’d applied for. Everyone kept laughing at me.
Or crying at me. There’s really no pleasing some people.
Glammer · January 28, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Honest for a day? I don’t believe you. You’re bullshitting cos you’ve got nothing to write today. You probably had a really boring weekend doing geeky stuff on your rubbish computer, which I’m now doubting is even a Mac.
Oli · January 28, 2008 at 1:48 pm
i think he got a cheap dell and tarted it up.
Mr Farty · January 28, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I can’t come to your meeting, I’m busy blogging.
Coqui · January 28, 2008 at 4:34 pm
my mouth tastes like vinegar today
and that’s completely honest
my boss,however, was not impressed with the news
Dominic · January 28, 2008 at 7:45 pm
I manage to compromise by being honest but quiet about it – I make many, many tactful silences in a day
Admin comment by Mr Angry · January 28, 2008 at 9:12 pm
I see that TheShrink is just about the only person being completely honest today, well done.
Ubermouth · January 30, 2008 at 6:25 am
Great post. I don’t get how ppl can be addicted to soaps. They watch them for years, and it takes mths for any action- you miss a day and the baby is now 25
Hamish · February 4, 2008 at 3:23 am
Unfortunately I try to be honest most of the time, it’s difficult, but at least people don’t expect compliments from me regularly. Sometimes tact is just silly.