Christmas can be a time of great stress on the family unit. Raised tensions can cause people to say things that perhaps they would not under normal circumstances, and this is how it began.

“You’re going down, I’m telling you now. All the way down to Chinatown!” yelled my opponent.

I wanted to point out that it was Christmas Day evening, and we were in Northamptonshire, so to get to Chinatown would be both time consuming and expensive. Plus I was pretty sure that neither of us would have been in the mood for a fight by the time we got there.

“Come on then.” I challenged, taking guard. I did a bit of Tae Kwon Do when I was twelve so my fighting stance is pretty good.

The baying crowd of friends and relatives had been listening intently and had now gathered around us. They were already shouting encouragement to us both, like any loving family would at this time of peace to all men. It is quite alarming how a plate of cold Turkey can incite violence. Maybe it was the couple of dozen bottles of wine consumed during Christmas dinner.

The first punches were thrown in something of a blur and in less than a minute I was exhausted. I lent forward and grabbed hold of my opponent. I know this is not strictly in the spirit of the Marquess of Queensbury rules, but if it is good enough for Ricky Hatton, then it is good enough for me.

Verbal abuse from the crowd brought us apart a bit too quickly for my liking and the torrent of punches continued, luckily for me, most of them missed. Then it began to swing my way. One swift combination and I put him down. It was only a matter of time of course, and down he stayed.

And this, my dear readers, is how I became the inaugural Angry Clan Nintendo Wii Sports Boxing champion. Not that I have gloated, much.

No tags