“All I’m saying is that surely it wouldn’t be difficult to open a new till for people like me who just want a lottery ticket? I had to queue for ages with people in front of me buying all sorts of stuff, for Christmas and that, and I only wanted a lottery ticket.”

I had stopped to ask the young lady at the entrance to Woolworths if they sold any picture frames in a last desperate attempt to finally, after thirty years, get my sister something she actually wanted for Christmas.  However, the rather elderly gentleman in front of me clearly had things he wanted to get off his chest.

“It’s not like you couldn’t open up a separate Lottery till is it? I shouldn’t have to queue like that just for a lottery ticket, it was crazy! I mean, what are you doing at the moment? Couldn’t you have gone to work on the till to serve me a lottery ticket.”

“I’m watching the door, answering queries and making sure people don’t steal things…” offered the young girl meekly.

The old man now looked at me and continued to both of us.

“I’m the customers, how hard would it be to open another till?”

I did not know how I had got involved in this conversation. I only wanted to know if they had any picture frames. Frankly I couldn’t care less whether he got his lottery tickets or not. Do not get me wrong, I absolutely approve of people expressing opinions, and complaining where necessary, but accosting a poor sixteen year-old Saturday girl is not the method I would advocate. Dogshit through the letterbox is a good method, for example.

I decided to intervene.

“I could be mistaken, but she doesn’t look like the manager, and I’m pretty sure she can’t do anything about it now that you have your ticket, why not go and look for some who can?”

I decided not to add that he should pick on someone his own size, for fear of starting a brawl with a septuagenarian on Windsor High Street. There is no way to look good in a fight with a septuagenarian. Beat him quickly and you look cruel and unkind, let him get the upper hand and you are a wimp. Seriously, old people are in a win-win situation when it comes to street fighting.

When I get to my seventies I am going to take full advantage of this fact and go around starting fights left right and centre. But not on young girls. I will stick to keeping them in the basement at home, as always.

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