“Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely…”
I vaguely remember this song being sung when I was at primary school. Not by me of course. I was too cool for carol singing even at seven years of age. I was however reminded of this song recently when I learned there are over 500,000 acres of xmas trees are cut down in America each year for the holiday season.
Add this to Europe’s demand which is 50% greater, and that means that for a month a year we are cutting down xmas trees faster than we are destroying the rain forests. But you do not see Sting writing a protest song about the poor humble Norwegian Spruce, do you? Maybe if they were farmed by naked men with a plate in their lower lip, or by women with giraffe necks he would feel differently about the issue? That perpetual hard-on of his has clearly deprived blood from the bit of his brain that cares for the environment outside South America.
This year I am doing my bit to save the Christmas Tree forests by not having a Christmas tree. Instead, I will be wrapping some lights around a Yukka plant in the corner of my living room, which is already dying anyway, so I am not killing anything else for Christmas (apart from a delicious Turkey or two).
I am also sending all my friends and family Christmas cards via Facebook and email this year, as another way to prove my green credentials.
What are you going to do this festive season to help save cash the planet?
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17 comments
<< The Cold
Jimmy Page's Trousers · December 19, 2007 at 8:35 am
In the noble spirit of your environmental efforts, I hereby resolve not to eat those McCoy’s crinkly crisp things which, through some odd chemical reaction, when combined with sufficient quantities of lager in my digestive tract, produce emissions that I’m sure can’t be good for my carbon footprint.
They are delicious though.
Oli · December 19, 2007 at 8:38 am
I will improve my carbon footprint by leaving all my lights on, putting my heating in full while using the tumble drier.
That should get the numbers up.
Peter Whale · December 19, 2007 at 9:02 am
I shall do my bit for global warming by denying it even harder and ridiculing the warming nutters.
Lin · December 19, 2007 at 10:40 am
Are they going to be electric lights on the yukka? naughty, naughty.
Let’s hope you will be drinking organic wine and beer to make amends.
Keef · December 19, 2007 at 10:47 am
I suspect that the BBC will do it’s bit for the planet by recycling all the old programs and movies they trot out each year.
Is anyone willing to take bets on whether or not Singing in the Rain, The Great Escape and Miracle on 34th St are all on over Xmas ?
eetee · December 19, 2007 at 11:24 am
The Great Escape is on BBC2 Sunday afternoon…
Wonder if the bloke on the bike will get over the wire this time?
Mighty Quinn · December 19, 2007 at 1:04 pm
I’m going to do my bit for Global warming by not using my oven once over Christmas! That’s right, I’m going cold turkey!
Anna · December 19, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I’m not sure what I enjoy more, the blog itself or the comments
GH · December 19, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Well I’m doing my bit for the forests by putting up 3 differently sized plastic trees made from oil. Then I’m going to drive across the country to visit the in-laws and finally I’ll probably leave the heating on while I’m doing it.
Come on, join in the carbon footprint competition, there’s a chocolatte, gold medallion for the winner!
GH
xl · December 19, 2007 at 1:49 pm
My bit this year is to put pet antlers on the cats.
Megan · December 19, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Yukka? Please god don’t turn me into a correct-the-blogger commenter. Tell me you mean an entirely different plant and not the goddamn yucca that grows like weeds where I live and reaches out spines to impale the innocent runner? Bet yours is a flaccid leaf one…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yucca
Sewmouse · December 19, 2007 at 2:53 pm
In order to prove my greennness, I shall refuse to wrap any gifts this xmas, and shall just fling them at their recipients!!
Kate · December 19, 2007 at 4:36 pm
I’ll be recycling a shed load of glass bottles this christmas!!
Sam · December 19, 2007 at 8:54 pm
I don’t know what’s more disturbing – the fact you are such a skin flint (still haven’t had my prize by the way), or the fact that you own a Yukka. Are you sure you don’t bat for the other team.
US · December 19, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Proper trees in Germany extortionate this year – apparently there is a massive demand in China this year – don’t remember that in Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book. If I get the chance I’ll be planting my carbon footprint on Al Gore’s arse.
gnarlyswine · December 20, 2007 at 3:01 pm
If going to have an artificial tree – made from Rainforest Teak , with Mahogamy decorations. Instead of Turkey we shall be having Panda for lunch, Drinks will be chilled with ice chipped from an arctic glacier to make up for the ridiculously hot temperature of the house fueled by our local coal fired plant. I will leave the car engine running on pure Alberta oils sands gasoline over the festive period just to make sure it doesnt get a chill as well. Do I win the medal?
GH · December 21, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Absolutely. I’ll leave it with the local FOE office for you to collect