If I go to America again, I will have to be very careful not to rape or kill anyone, because they have recently shown themselves to be extremely hard on people found guilty of such crimes.
I would imagine 438 years is enough to put anyone off killing someone to death via homocide. But why 438 years exactly?
After about 100 years, his cell is going to smell worse than the Post Office on pension day, which is a little harsh on his cell-mate (and the cleaners). Do not get me wrong, I am all for proper sentences (except with grammar’n'that), but I do not see the point in putting someone in prison for 438 years. Even if he takes a daily multivitamin and cuts down on the fags, he is still unlikely to get passed two hundred years of age.
I do however think it would be quite funny if by some freak of nature he lived to be 500 years old. How fucked off would the judge be?
I guess the US of A does not suffer with the same levels of prison over crowding that we do. Over here we do the exact opposite, the judge picks a sentence that society thinks is about appropriate, doubles it, divides it by five, adds a few months and then takes away the first number that they thought of. I would like to see them adopt a more American approach.
“You are hereby found guilty of killing that prostitute to death and that, and I hereby sentence you to a gazillion million years in prison.”
That would be a proper deterrent and would almost certainly put me off killing any more prostitutes.
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Lin · December 18, 2007 at 8:47 am
You mean American judges live that long as well?
Just came back from NY and found it a lot safer than London.
Oli · December 18, 2007 at 8:55 am
Damn, Lin stole my joke. =(
Scaryduck · December 18, 2007 at 10:16 am
I, too, would give up killing and eating prossies if it meant having to do proper jail time.
However, 300 years and your right foot cut off for speeding in a built up area is not going far enough.
Glammer · December 18, 2007 at 12:00 pm
I’d give you 150 years just for your grammar.
Shambo's revenge · December 18, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I’m not sure after 438 years I would even remember what I’d done in the first place, although from US TV I’ve seen cons spend all their time repenting in the gym or in the shower…
…so after that sentence you’d be incredibly stacked and walk with a John Wayne type gait.
Which prompts the question as to whether John Wayne ever did ‘bird’?
TheBoy · December 18, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Killing any more prostitutes? Just what are you telling us here Angry?
Megan · December 18, 2007 at 1:55 pm
I (wait for it) am American. (I do know what a fork is for, I do not chew gum and I have a vague concept of where Yerupp is, thanks) Let me ’splain. In our penal system the “sentence” is like the air-brushing we put on all of our celebrities (except Britney at the moment) – it’s for public consumption. The parole board meanwhile take their little slide-rules out and do the complicated figuring that decides what the poor sot will actually serve. In this case… well, he’ll likely be out in about 12.3 years.
xl · December 18, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Caution Mr A, do not commit your crimes in Texas. They have the death penalty and they use it.
Sewmouse · December 18, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Well, you know – they USED to use it in Texas when GWB was governor, but since he has gone on to mass-murder Iraqi children, they use it there a bit less.
You could always commit your mass murders here in Illinois – our utterly corrupt and going-to-prison-himself former governor let all the murderers go free.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · December 18, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Lin – They keep them in suspended animation between trials. This is how they know not a single modern cultural reference.
Oli – Be quicker next time then. Or think of a new joke?
Glammer – I must admit that is more lenient than I had imagined…
Shambo – Quite possibly, no wonder he changed his name from Marion.
The Boy – Absolutely nothing whatsoever.
Megan – so it’s much like our own House of Commons then?
xl – I have been to Dallas several times, and people on the street CARRY GUNS! I would never do a crime there…
sewmouse – I have never been to Illinois. Do they have beaches?
bittersweet me · December 18, 2007 at 4:50 pm
american laws are the best! i enjoy knowing i break a few, now and then, from afar.
Sam · December 18, 2007 at 5:17 pm
American laws are werid – I mean what the hell is jaywalking? How can you arrest someone for walking like a Jay and what the hell do they walk like anyhoo…….just wrong I tell you.
clarissa · December 18, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Everything’s bigger in the US of A.
Oli · December 19, 2007 at 8:41 am
Unfortunately at this moment I am dosed up on co codomol ibuprofen and some other drug in fairly large quantities due to a pretty bad footballing injury. My current speed of thought can be equated to that of a man who has spent his life in one of the more legally relaxed provinces of India.
Sewmouse · December 19, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Yes, dear
We have beaches.
gnarlyswine · December 20, 2007 at 2:57 pm
if you think thats bad dont come to canada – execution by tazer for throwing a chair in customs!