“A JD & Coke please.” said the man next to me at the bar to the nice barmaid.

The barmaid prepared his drink and brought it to him.

“Three pounds please.” said the the barmaid.

“And a Gin and slimline tonic please.” added the man next to me at the bar.

This was disappointing. I had been waiting nearly five minutes as it was, and now this selfish bastard wanted more than one drink.

The barmaid prepared his drink and brought it to him.

“And a Vodka and tonic please.” he added. Again.

The barmaid and I exchanged glances and she gave me that ever-so familiar “why can’t all men be more like you, life would be so much better!” look. She prepared the drink and returned to the man next to me at the bar.

“And two pints of Peroni please.” he continued.

“Seriously mate, are you joking?” I interjected. “She’s not retarded, are you love (she was not), so I think she can handle you requesting more than one drink at a time. And the rest of us waiting for a drink would appreciate it too.”

“I’ve finished now.”

This was probably a lie. Almost certainly. But he did not want to be mocked any further so decided to make do with his five drinks. This was lucky for him as I was prepared to take it further, and am not averse to ridiculing people in public. Especially when their hands are full.

It was my turn next, so I ordered our round of two Jack Daniels & Coke, a Vodka and diet Coke, a Vodka lime and lemonade, and a bottle of Corona.

The barmaid returned with the JD & Cokes and asked, “What were the others again?”

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