Comments on: Are you sure you’re not a thief?

By: Phil

Phil — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 03:33:31 +0000

I hate DVD players that refuse to fast forward during some stupid studio logo or copyright message. My DVD player is the most disobedient thing I own. Nothing else I have refuses me in this way. When my DVD player fails to fast forward, it’s not because it can’t, or because it’s broken. It’s because it positively, actively, willfully, won’t.

It is so stupid. We all know about video copyright etc from VHS tapes years ago. And these studios seem to think their logo is more important than the film.

Honestly. Imagine a film where this function were used meaningfully. It could say, “Are you sure?! You want to fast forward through this bit? You’ve not watched this film before and these few sentences are what the film is all about! Skip this and you might not ever figure out what is going on!”

Can anyone recommend a DVD player that behaves like a VHS tape recorder and always obeys its owners’ commands?

By: Glammer

Glammer — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:48:46 +0000

I think you should have to watch the warning just for making an cliched ooh arr pirates references whilst essaying on DVD piracy.

By: Peach

Peach — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:05:02 +0000

I think it’s suitable punishment for anyone who actually paid money for Die Hard. I’m with the pirates !

By: Megan

Megan — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:11:54 +0000

Here I was teetering on the brink of buying that DVD (positive column: Die Hard; negative column: Friend assures me the “yippee kiyay” line was sanitized damnit) and you push me over the edge. If I get to be called a pirate I’m there. Lemme dig out that eye patch…

By: gnarlyswine

gnarlyswine — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:22:11 +0000

I can’t believe everyone is looking past the obvious solution – either take a pair of scissors and cut a few millimeters off the rim of the disc, or pick up the needle and move it on a little bit – tch,luddites.

By: StokeyPerson

StokeyPerson — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:49:38 +0000

With the pirate dvd’s you do get the authentic feel of being sat in the cinema – and as ever the tallest bloke with the loudest laugh and who keeps asking his mate what is going on etc is annoyingly there.

By: Jo

Jo — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:39:55 +0000

I always laugh everytime I see ‘piracy funds the drug dealers / terrorists / mafia’ or whatever…does it? does it really? Are terrorists really sitting in underground bunkers knocking out copies of high school musical to tempt the west into a life of crime? I’d say it’s more than likely funding the electricity and heating bill of the bloke from down the market.

By: Mr Angry

Mr Angry — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 10:50:31 +0000

greavsie – Not in this case! Yippee Kiyay m…

Oli – Everything will be downloadable in five years anyway.

Jaggy – Hello. That is true. The presumption of innocence is not applicable here.

Lin – That would require planning. I do not do ‘planning’. I am a spur of the moment kinda guy.

z – I do not swagger. I crouch and roll.

Keef – I could get through those fortunately.

Wanda Benderbus – Hello. I hope no-one introduces them at a party then.

Salvadore – I always thought those warnings were referring to a division of Pfizer? Buy an Angelina Jolie movie today, get a monster boner tomorrow. Or something like that…

By: Salvadore Vincent

Salvadore Vincent — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 10:39:27 +0000

Remember also that PIRATE DVDS FUND THE DRUG INDUSTRY!!! But why a drug dealer would want to move from the incredibly profitable business of selling drugs, with all its guaranteed repeat custom (you sell crack to someone once and they will literally do anything to buy more from you) to hawking DVDs around pubs (you sell a Ben Affleck film to someone once and you lose a customer for life) is anyone’s guess.

By: Wanda Benderbus

Wanda Benderbus — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 10:19:51 +0000

I don’t see how you think the war on terror could be won more easily if soldiers have to contend with a bunch of dirty, hairy men wealding cutlasses. Frankly, If the terrorists and pirates get together we’re in a lot of trouble. Maybe you should spend time thinking over this serious matter whilst the warning plays out.

By: Keef

Keef — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 10:12:19 +0000

What riles me is that they usually won’t let you fast forward through adverts for other films either usually ones you’ve already seen or wouldn’t be caught dead watching.
Every time I see something like these warnings I feel a burning urge to rush to my computer and download bootleg movies and music off t’web

By: Z

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 10:02:04 +0000

I love the sweetlittle snippets of private information you give us. You must look so heroic, swaggering around in best Bruce Willis grubbies.

By: Lin

Lin — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:46:30 +0000

Why not just open the wine and get the snacks ready while the dvd warms up to the film? Obvious I think!

By: Jaggy

Jaggy — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:20:28 +0000

The recording, software and DVD industry assumes that everyone is a thief. You are guilty of theft no matter if you prove yourself innocent. The DRM issue drives me bonkers. We should rebel! Opensource for everyone and don’t buy any DVDs at Xmas for anybody.

By: Oli

Oli — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 08:49:14 +0000

I get a little riled about this, I wonder how long its going to take for the dvd/cd industry to realise that they can either adapt or die?

Putting these warnings up does nothing.

By: greavsie

greavsie — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 08:13:27 +0000

Sometimes that’s the best bit of the DVD.