I recently bought the new Die Hard film to complete my DVD collection of the genre. John McLane is the reason I own a vest. And a gun. OK, that was a joke. I do not own a vest.

Anyway, I sat down to watch my new film, unsure as to what was going to happen, as I had missed the film when it was at the cinema. I was still pretty sure that John McLane was going to kick someone’s ass whilst rebelling against authority and using any excuse to drop in a wise crack.

As the music began I settled into the sofa and made myself comfortable.

“Piracy is a crime!” screamed the screen.

I know this. I have read Treasure Island and know of the legend of Blackbeard, though I was unsure as to why now was a good time to warn me away from a life of thievery on the high seas.

“That operation is currently prohibited.” announced my DVD player as I attempted to fast forward through this warning.

Why is it prohibited? I have bought the DVD. I have paid for it with real cash money. I do not wish to be subjected to accusations of theft. I sat there unable to do anything except watch the further accusations.

“DVD Piracy supports terrorism!” claimed my perfectly legitimate DVD.

If this were true then surely the war against terror could be more easily won? Why bother searching caves in Afghanistan if success can be gained by sneaking up on moody DVD sellers at most local markets?

I am not a criminal mastermind, but if I was, I am quite sure that if I were to try and make some money copying DVDs, then I would start the copying process after the piracy warning. What sort of criminal would leave it in?

After what seemed like about an hour I finally got to see John McLane kicking ass and rebelling against authority whilst making wise cracks at any opportunity.

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I recently bought the new Die Hard film to complete my DVD collection of the genre. John McLane is the reason I own a vest. And a gun. OK, that was a joke. I do not own a vest.

Anyway, I sat down to watch my new film, unsure as to what was going to happen, as I had missed the film when it was at the cinema. I was still pretty sure that John McLane was going to kick someone’s ass whilst rebelling against authority and using any excuse to drop in a wise crack.

As the music began I settled into the sofa and made myself comfortable.

“Piracy is a crime!” screamed the screen.

I know this. I have read Treasure Island and know of the legend of Blackbeard, though I was unsure as to why now was a good time to warn me away from a life of thievery on the high seas.

“That operation is currently prohibited.” announced my DVD player as I attempted to fast forward through this warning.

Why is it prohibited? I have bought the DVD. I have paid for it with real cash money. I do not wish to be subjected to accusations of theft. I sat there unable to do anything except watch the further accusations.

“DVD Piracy supports terrorism!” claimed my perfectly legitimate DVD.

If this were true then surely the war against terror could be more easily won? Why bother searching caves in Afghanistan if success can be gained by sneaking up on moody DVD sellers at most local markets?

I am not a criminal mastermind, but if I was, I am quite sure that if I were to try and make some money copying DVDs, then I would start the copying process after the piracy warning. What sort of criminal would leave it in?

After what seemed like about an hour I finally got to see John McLane kicking ass and rebelling against authority whilst making wise cracks at any opportunity.

No tags