I am currently planning a few long haul flights, and part of that process has involved looking closely at the various baggage allowances offered by different airlines. I have mentioned this before, but baggage policies seem to be increasingly unfair on people like me.
I mean people who are not fat.
Why I should I have the same baggage allowance as the portly chap sat in front of me? He weighs more than me and my 23kg allowance put together, so where is the financial justice in us paying the same amount to cross the Atlantic?
It is bad enough if you have to sit next to one on the actual flight itself, but knowing that you have also subsidised their trip is beyond a joke. Plus they probably steal your in flight meal when you are not looking.
How hard would it be to come up with a system where we take the average weight of passengers (85kg according to Google – or 13 and a bit stone in UK money), add 23kg, and then allow passengers to use that weight as they see fit.
I might choose to take some extra clothing, books or even a set of dumbells. Fatty may decide not to leave his man boobs at home.
We could even have some form of offsetting market in weight allowances, with skinny people selling off their extra kilos to the rotund travellers. If it can work with carbon emissions, surely it could work here?
OK, it might be seen as being a little bit fattist, but we picked on the smokers and now people are giving that up left right and centre.
I mean, it is clear that being hideously unattractive is not enough to make them lose a few pounds, so maybe a hit in the wallet each time they fly might be enough to make them take the stairs every now and again?
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Devil's Kitchen · November 27, 2007 at 9:11 am
“… or 13 and a bit stone in UK money…”
Excellent! I would get to carry more than two and a half stone extra of baggage! That’s books galore…
DK
Oli · November 27, 2007 at 10:05 am
I dont like the sound of this, im 13 1/2 stone spot on so would be losing out to all the little people (Since im 6′5 thats most people)
Since im bigger than all you little people I oppose this and there is nothing you can do about it, short arses.
ninja chinchilla · November 27, 2007 at 10:26 am
I’m proud to be a short arse. It means I can ask nice young men to get stuff down from shelves at the supermarket.
I’m opposed to the weight thing too. It would work for me (about 4 stone of extra stuff!!), but I get rather angry at people being fatist.
Glammer · November 27, 2007 at 10:33 am
People who say kilo’s instead of kilos shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near plane’s.
Lin · November 27, 2007 at 10:37 am
It should apply to buses and trains too. All the people that take up a seat and a half should be made to stand and wobble – that should shake off a few pounds without them having to make an effort to get to the gym!
Glammer · November 27, 2007 at 10:43 am
Or cake’s.
Lolita · November 27, 2007 at 10:43 am
13 and a half stone?! By your rules, I could take almost an entire extra me along for the ride. Excellent.
AFC30K · November 27, 2007 at 10:49 am
That’s ok for me as I’m 13 and a bit stone.
It’s fantastic for Wifey as she’s 8 stone.
Is there going to be a different weight clas for men and women, as otherwise most women would be subsidising the men’s flights on grounds of weight (and often height).
Kaush · November 27, 2007 at 11:46 am
And we havent started on the environmental effect. Maybe thats what Al Gore should be focusing more on: fatties in flight.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · November 27, 2007 at 11:55 am
DK – Or one really big one.
Oli – If you’re really 6′5″ and just 13 stone then you could just open your jacket and get blown wherever you want to go.
ninja – I’m only fattist against the fattest.
Glammer – Yes yes, one of these days I’m going to reread a post before pressing Publish, and what will you have to say then? eh??
Lin – Or, you know, make them walk?
Lolita – You pay your money, you choose how to use the weight…
AFC – I am not sexist. Most of the time.
Kaush – Hello. This is true, plus all the other resources they use up quicker than skinnies. Water for cleaning, food, air etc etc.
TheBoy · November 27, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Not only is this fatist, its tallist. There should be no financial incentive for being short. Many Chinese are short, and they’re doing very well at taking over the world as it is without also getting cheap airline tickets.
Be practical and do it on that body mass index thingy, that’d be fair.
The Inky Thinker · November 27, 2007 at 12:58 pm
A 747 holds 650 people and its 5500 kms from London to New York. Its 21 cents per pound per 1000 km’s (including baggage, total plane weight not taken into account. Flying at 26000 feet with a headwind of 37.7 miles per hour, how many cakes can I eat on the three months lead up to the flight without getting a poke in the eye from Angry?
Hey you, give me back my Krispy Kreme
Jo · November 27, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Why stop at planes? Stick on a fat tax for those who choose to take their entire weight out on a shopping trip, and block up the aisles in the supermarket as a consequence. This cake aisle ain’t big enough for the both of us, chunky.
Amy · November 27, 2007 at 9:53 pm
What about pregnant women? Then there’s the charge for the disabled person’s wheelchair…
bendersbetterbrother · November 28, 2007 at 2:01 am
Charge them for aggregate weight and then make THEM sit beside some other fat fucker and see how THEY like someone pouring over their seat.
And make them get out last. And sit at the back beside the toilets.
skinnyskinny · November 28, 2007 at 2:24 pm
bendersbetterbrother – are you sure you want to sit all the fatties together on a plane? Surely they must use some sort of “fatarse weight distribution” software to make sure they all sit in opposite corners or something?
bendersbetterbrother · November 28, 2007 at 6:21 pm
You’d think that but I have it good authority from a friend who checks people in that they just spread people around. Weight doesn’t come into it unless it’s kids.
Seems logical, otherwise they’d have to weigh people at check in to do it right.
They have to balance where they put the luggage and the passengers but assumptions are made about the weight of an average adult.
Personally I think they should sit all the fatties outside.
Judith · December 6, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I must confess, I have actually used the “But I’m only 50kgs!” line to avoid paying excess luggage on a flight.
And so far, in 26 years on the planet, I have NEVER travelled within the weight limit given on a ticket, and I have NEVER paid extra for my overweight luggage.
Little people rule!!!