There are ‘not bad’ tattoos, and there are really shit tattoos.

A good tattoo is a nice, small, tasteful design at the base of a woman’s spine. This can, sometimes, be a thing of beauty. It is also a sign that the woman has a reasonable pain threshold so a bit of bum-fun might be on the agenda.

A bad tattoo is usually adorning a fat man and will likely be a picture of a football club crest, or a name across his knuckles.

Then there is a Tramp Stamp.

The Tramp Stamp is usually found just above the arse of a portly chavette, and if your eyes can become accustomed to the glare from the copious amounts of Elizabeth Duke on her wrists, hands, ears and neck, you might be able to see it. It is normally distorted due to the muffin top action going on either side, but if you can make out the drooping pattern, then I am afraid to say that you are probably too close for comfort.

Please tell me none of you have one. Especially the women.

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