I hate to admit it, but I have been sucked into the Facebook craze that is sweeping the nation.

I am going to make a sweeping generalisation and assume that the people who read this have an inkling what Facebook is and what it does, at a basic level at least. Even the ones in Wales.

What I have noticed is that there is an application you can add to your page for absolutely anything and everything. There are applications to give you horoscopes, to buy your friends a virtual drink (really, what is the fucking point in that?), to become a ninja or a werewolf or a zombie. Even to draw virtual graffiti on someone’s wall. This one in particular I don’t get. Surely the link at the bottom saying “This graffiti is by Mr Angry” defeats the whole point of leaving gratuitously offensive messages? What is the point of writing, “Fat Jim bums sailors for pocket money” if everyone knows it was me?

What I really want to see are useful Facebook applications.

Shitometer – “Mr Angry has had THREE poos today. Do you want to let him know how many poos you have had? Click here!”

Bunch O’cunts- Found people on Facebook you really hate? Add them in here, it will send them random abusive messages, completely anonymously, and we get to see who the most unpopular people on Facebook are.

Violent Tendencies – “Mr Angry is going to smash FAT JIM’s head repeatedly into a wall until his brain seeps out of his ears like those really horrible custard bogies you get after a cold.”

Thoughts Aloud – “Mr Angry has thought about blow-jobs FORTY THREE times today. In his network only FAT JIM has thought of blow-jobs more often. Are you now thinking about blow-jobs? I bet you are. Click here and tell the world!”

Are there any Facebook applications you would like to see?

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