As I mooched down the high street on a drizzly Saturday morning my self esteem was sub rock bottom, (technically my mental state was located somewhere beneath the continental crust).
I was dressed like the kind of person I have never wanted to be. I wasn’t even out of “fashion”, I had slipped into the utterly lazy and incredibly unimaginative, “comfy zone”.
My coat could be best described as a “sports anorak”. I had purchased it for outdoor pursuits such as fishing and other extreme sports which I now have absolutely no intention of ever trying. I have yet to succumb to membership of the ramblers association, but if I do, I shall beat myself to death with a walking boot, which of course I was also wearing that Saturday morning.
This kind of dress sense is for geeks, perverts and people with no style. (Maybe there is something in this self–analysis – Ed). So I gave my fashion sense a good kicking. There were no mountains nearby, no rough terrain, and no need for Gore-Tex, spandex or Ant’n'Decs. Or any other dex that my clothing might be made of.
Back in the day I was on the cutting edge of cool. Honestly. But something has changed, and it’s time for an image overhaul. Watch out Haute Couture, Fat Jim is coming to get ya, Trinny & Susanna, bring it on. Gok Kwan, well, you can stay away, because you are never going to make me look good naked.
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Fat Jim · October 30, 2007 at 12:18 pm
oh well.
To add to my low self esteem, not one of you (the regulars) has even cared to leave a comment.
I wish I was as great as Angry.
FJ
Mr Farty · October 30, 2007 at 12:40 pm
I was sick in my mouth when I read that bit about Fat Jim being naked.
Equine Pimp · October 30, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Is this a lonely hearts ad?
Am very confused
Eliza · October 30, 2007 at 12:58 pm
no man looks good naked- so don’t worry about that bit
(what was God thinking putting them on the outside?)
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 30, 2007 at 1:24 pm
FJ – Facetiousness (yes, it is a word!) does not look good on you mate…
Farty – You’re not the only one.
EP – I have learned my lesson. Last week he said, “This blogging thing is easy, let me have another go…”
Eliza – That is not true. I look amazing. In a certain light. From a certain angle. From a great distance.
gnarlyswine · October 30, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Dont beat yourself up (Im sure angry would oblige) I find myself in the same position at times re. fashion.
I do have some excuse though as I moved to an area that often sees temperatures down to minus 40(C) , and still have to walk the frickin dog – whilst fending off bears,cougars,wolves, mooses(?) and skunk.
Wouldnt wear it down the high street in the UK though – Im sure it must be environmentaly unfriendly.
Glammer · October 30, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Go, Fat Jim, go!
‘Gross’ is next year’s size zero.
Fat Jim · October 30, 2007 at 2:38 pm
FJ – I concur
M Farty – I’m not in your w*nk bank then?
EP – Are you SWF WGSOH?
Eliza – I also prefer them on the inside
Angry – I don’t get another go then?
Gnarly – Is that what you tell the girls “Its because its cold here”
Glammer – big is beautiful
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 30, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Gnarly – I too have been to Newcastle, it is rubbish isn’t it?
xl · October 30, 2007 at 3:07 pm
FJ, at least you have that rugged outdoorsman look going as opposed to A’s chav trappings.
Equine Pimp · October 30, 2007 at 3:36 pm
FJ – Nope. I am MWMWWSOH
For clarification, I wasn’t expressing an interest, it just sounded a bit like you were preparing the world for a new Fat Jim
GH · October 30, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I second xl’s comment – anoraks and boot beats hoodies and white trainers. and often gives them a good kicking while they’re down too!
GH.
gnarlyswine · October 30, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Now you know if I was talking about newcastle, jackets (or any kind of warm outerwear) would not be brought up – you soft southerners, -40 is sunbathing weather for geordies.
FJ – never mind telling the girls, its cold enough here to turn an outie to an inie
gnarlyswine · October 30, 2007 at 5:39 pm
I wonder if the newcastilians could be persuaded to wear one of these
http://www.trappersden.ca/skunk%20hat.JPG
Fat Jim · October 30, 2007 at 5:57 pm
XL – some say lumberjackesque
EP – I don’t think Thin Jim has the same ring
GH – others say like a modern day Gladiator
Equine Pimp · October 30, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Surely Slim Jim works?
Sam · October 30, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Fat Jim, the thought of you in spandex kept me awake all night – and not in a bad way……Grrrrr!!!!
Pentheus · October 30, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Perhaps there should be a TV show for people who dress crap, presented by people who do dress crap. Fat Jim could be the first presenter.