I have decided that when I eventually settle down, I want to end up with a woman who has a mild case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I can not see a single down side to this scenario.

I speak as someone who can be quite untidy, so I quite like the idea of having someone walk round behind me picking stuff up, straightening towels and turning all the tins in the cupboard round to face the front. There is nothing worse than turning a tin around to notice it is not Baked Beans but in fact a two-year old tin of Big Soup. It is demoralising.

Imagine the financial benefits too. You would save about twenty pounds a week for a cleaner, which over the course of a lifetime, is quite literally, err, loads of money.

I have been threatening to alphabetise my CD collection ever since I moved house nearly three years ago, but I think I will wait. It would be just my luck to pull an OCD sufferer immediately after spending a day sorting out my CDs. This is how the world tends to conspire against me.

They say that opposites attract, so I am quite sure they would find my untidy nature quite endearing. Possibly even a turn on. Also, I would give them plenty of things to obsess about, so they would no longer need to worry about the little things like turning the lights on and off loads of times every time they entered or left a room. The dirty bathroom would see to that.

So, if any of you know any really fit OCD sufferers, with big boobs, please point them in my direction. Thanks.