I have been watching what all the cool people wear and have noticed that white trainers are ‘in’ at the moment. So, despite the obvious maintenance issues, I decided to buy a pair.

After browsing the local JD Sports leisure-wear emporium I found a pair I thought I would like to try on.

“I’d like to try these in a 9 please.”

“Sure”, said the youth with the utterly miserable face.

He went off to get them and returned a few minutes later with shoe box and a trainer on top.

“Is that the display trainer?” I asked, perfectly normally and in no way confrontationally.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, I don’t want the display trainer.”

“Why not?”

This surprised me. His response clearly indicated that he thought wearing second hand shoes was the most normal thing in the world. I had not expected to have to give someone a lecture on foot hygiene and general cleanliness whilst shopping for trainers, but that is where the conversation was headed.

“Because people have been mauling it and putting their feet in it, and feet – especially other peoples feet – carry gazillions of bacteria, so they might as well have spat in it. Plus, it’s a little grubby, and I want a new pair.”

“It’s not grubby.”

“It’s not as clean as the one in the box. Can I have new pair please?”

“We haven’t got any more in that size.”

“Well I don’t want that one.”

“So you don’t want these trainers then?” he said with sigh that suggested I’d just told him to finish his homework.

“No. I don’t”

“Fair enough.”, he concluded, and with a shrug of his shoulders he wandered off glancing back disdainfully in my direction.

I went off to look at hooded tops instead.

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