After three days of golf, our group decided to have a day off. So all twenty six of us decided to go sailing. On actual boats.

I had not sailed before and my requests to use terms like front, back, left and right fell on deaf ears. Honestly, boat people use an entirely different language!

We were divided into three crews (that is special sailing terminology for ‘teams’ for the land lubbers amongst you) and set off from Cape Town harbour.

The sails were raised and the engines turned off, and we waited breathlessly to begin the first race.

The flag was dropped and we were off!

Fifteen minutes later, as we sat on board chatting idly to the other two boats either side of us, we agreed that this would be a much better activity if there was any wind whatsoever. According to our ’skipper’ (this is more boat-speak) it is unusual to have so little wind. And trust me, there is not a fart joke we did not come up with in that fifteen minute period.

I am not sure you can actually still call it ’sailing’ when you have to consider getting out oars to help you along. Even with all the pulling of sheets (translation: ropes) we were not really moving. I honestly felt that we would be better off all getting in the water, pushing it from behind, and treating the boat like the big floats they use in swimming lessons. My suggestion was not well received.

Eventually, we powered up the engines and headed back to the harbour to celebrate our success in drifting the furthest.

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