I Am Livid | Where ‘net rage is all the rage…

Sep/07

28

My Last Day

It is my last full day in South Africa, and I have the shits!

And the pukes!

This is very disappointing. It is coming out of both ends with alarming regularity.

No one has ever suffered like I am suffering.

I only hope that I am bunged back up again before my eleven-hour flight tomorrow evening. If not, then the person sitting next to me has my deepest sympathy. It is going to be a very unpleasant journey indeed.

I have some good stories to tell you all starting next week, but right now I am going to the toilet, where I will have to decide if I am going to sit on it, or kneel before it. Because bitter experience, and a recently mopped floor, have taught me you can not do both.

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17 comments

  • Dr J · September 28, 2007 at 10:27 am

    Here’s hoping the door stays on for you this time!

    Loperamide / Imodium might at least help a bit, oh, and stugeron is an anti-emetic as well as a travel sickness remedy.

    Good luck with the flight home.

  • TheBoy · September 28, 2007 at 11:04 am

    Oh Oh, do we get to have a contest about who’s suffered more in far flung locations? I have a great story involving a pit toilet and a komodo dragon!

    Seriously though, listen to the good doctor. Get thee well and home.

  • Will · September 28, 2007 at 11:18 am

    Make sure you get an aisle seat.

  • KT · September 28, 2007 at 11:48 am

    Small toilets are the best. The ones where you can sit on the loo and puke in the sink simultaneously. Of course, they’re annoyingly cramped under normal circumstances when you’re not stricken, but nothing in life’s perfect… Get better soon.

  • StokeyPerson · September 28, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    I have missed you! My worst case of squits on hols started on that poor imitation of the London Eye that they have in Paris – never has such a wonderful view involved so much pain…hope you feel better soon

  • Mr Farty · September 28, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    Christ, you’re not planning on bringing some horrible tropical disease *back* with you?

    Get well soon. First.

  • Jo · September 28, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    Four words: Immodium – The Travellers Friend

  • Admin comment by Mr Angry · September 28, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    Advice from a real live Doctor!! Isn’t the Internet brilliant!!

    I am now just leaking from the bottom end, but I have yet to eat anything. I have just over 24 hours till thge flight so Imodium will be used if it’s no better by tomorrow afternoon.

    One thing I have learned though. I REALLY need to chew my food better.

  • Dr J · September 28, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    My account will be in the post dear boy!

  • bittersweet me · September 28, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    Nooooo

    i have missed you – but not *that* much.

    Too much information!

  • Four Dinners · September 28, 2007 at 5:05 pm

    Maybe you should be checked in as ‘dangerous goods’ before being allowed onto the plane?

    As Spittin Image so aptly sang.
    “I’ve never met a nice South African”

    Did you?

  • Sam · September 28, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    That’ll learn yer for leaving us for so long!

  • xl · September 28, 2007 at 6:36 pm

    Recommended backup plan to the Immodium: disposable adult nappies.

  • Prettylyf · September 28, 2007 at 7:00 pm

    I ditto anyone recommending the Immodium. Get better…

  • clarissa · September 29, 2007 at 12:16 pm

    What was the culprit?

  • Karma · September 30, 2007 at 10:50 pm

    Wouldn’t a bowl or a bucket be easier to do both at once…That’s what I resort to.
    It’s awful but I doubt you’ll still be sick on the plane home. Good luck though!

  • Gnarlyswine · October 1, 2007 at 2:54 pm

    Had exactly the same thing happen in LA on the morning I was to fly back to Britain, to the extent I got a docs out and couldnt fly – injection to stop crapping,lasting long enough to take an suppository to stop puking, so I could take a pill to stop crapping , that was a fun balancing act for a few days , and bloomin expensive to get a doc out to a hotel room in the states. A word of advice – Dont have the fish taco in D;sney in LA.
    I could guess it would be a bit costly to get one to a room in Africa as well.

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