It is my last full day in South Africa, and I have the shits!

And the pukes!

This is very disappointing. It is coming out of both ends with alarming regularity.

No one has ever suffered like I am suffering.

I only hope that I am bunged back up again before my eleven-hour flight tomorrow evening. If not, then the person sitting next to me has my deepest sympathy. It is going to be a very unpleasant journey indeed.

I have some good stories to tell you all starting next week, but right now I am going to the toilet, where I will have to decide if I am going to sit on it, or kneel before it. Because bitter experience, and a recently mopped floor, have taught me you can not do both.

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