As I sat there, I could hear her sniffling like a flu-ridden coke addict. I knew what was happening at the other end of the sofa, even before I looked across.
I finally glanced over as she wiped away a tear and tried to hide her face. I looked back at the TV.
“It’s emotional!” she explained.
“I am not crying, am I?” I retorted.
“That’s because you are dead inside.”
So, apparently I am dead inside, emotionally speaking. Physically speaking, my heart rate is a little fast and I have slightly high blood pressure, but apart from that, I am fine. But I am dead inside because I did not cry.
At Saturday’s episode of the X Factor.
I am in touch with my feelings. Anyone who reads the drivel on this website would know that, but I fail to see why anyone, ever, would cry at a reality television show. Especially one where inept singers embarrass themselves in front of the nation.
Can someone enlighten me?
No tags
Mr Farty · September 11, 2007 at 8:29 am
If you don’t know, then I can’t tell you.
According to Mrs Farty.
Equine Pimp · September 11, 2007 at 8:58 am
You are dead inside.
When that bloke sang Puff the Magic Dragon I was in tears. Granted they were of laughter rather than sympathy but surely it’s all sort of the same.
Glammer · September 11, 2007 at 9:22 am
I cry at the ignorance and snobbery shown by normally reasonable people to reality tv, as if the reflection on us all it gives is somehow too hard for the snobbies to handle, considering themselves, as they do, so much smarter than the rest of us plebs. Even if they don’t know how to use the possessive apostrophe correctly.
It’s also highly amusing the way anti-reality tv snobs always seem to use documentaries as examples of what all tv should be like all the time. Documentaries = reality tv.
Plus, research shows your brain is in the same state when watching tv as it is when asleep and (drumroll) it makes no difference what you’re watching.
So there, nyah nyah nyah. I shall now sing “Up Where We Belong.”
AFC 30K · September 11, 2007 at 9:28 am
PMT?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · September 11, 2007 at 10:57 am
Mr Farty – Is it like one of those secrets women all know and will not share with us men? Like the location of the G spot?
EP – I did not see that bit, shame.
Glammer – I am not snobby! I was watching it for entertainment and research purposes. There is something inherently amusing about watching people who have entirely false impressions of their own talents. But it is not, in any way shape or form, an emotional show.
Also, if you want the job of being my editor, just ask. There is a pint in it for you.
AFC – Oh God, I knew someone would say that. THE VIEWS OF THIS COMMENTER IN NO WAY REFLECTS THOSE OF THE AUTHOR. AT ALL.
Peach · September 11, 2007 at 12:13 pm
can’t enlighten you sweetie, but can correct your spelling: here her? no, tis: hear her.
aunty peach the pedant xxx
Equine Pimp · September 11, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Hang on !
You were with a woman on Saturday night???
Is there more to this tale? Did she need lots of comforting? Did you offer those big Angry shoulders to cry on?
Is there a Mrs Angry on the horizon? (judging from the fact that you were at opposite ends of the sofa I think I know the answers to all these questions but it never hurts to ask)
AND LEAVE MY WALL ALONE !!
Jo · September 11, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Anyone who cries at X Factor is a chump.
End of.
bittersweet me · September 11, 2007 at 1:02 pm
you were with a woman on saturday night WATCHING THE X FACTOR ?????
why?
the g-spot location is not a mystery – a willingness to explore is all that is required.
GH · September 11, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I’m trying to work out whether you were dead inside, or just have an extremely strong stomach. I mean, you were watching X-Factor and not suffering from TV induced vomiting! Was there a shag on the cards and that’s why you were sticking it out heroically?
GH.
Gnarlyswine · September 11, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Funny enough It makes me want to cry every time I hear about a new reality TV show starting.
The Chump · September 11, 2007 at 2:42 pm
I quite like my new name so will keep it – thanks.
I was crying because Mr A would not give me one of his chips (not a euphamism). i hadn’t realised that he had secretly flicked over to the X-factor while I was reading the TV guide. Honest!
AFC 30K · September 11, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Crying over chips….
Please forgive me but, to be that emotional over a chip it has to be PMT.
Sorry ladies to be generlistice but it’s either PMT or having to explain crying over a chip.
Badger · September 11, 2007 at 4:34 pm
You poor soul. Did you at least get to play ‘Hide the Pickle’ afterwards?
B.
Sam · September 11, 2007 at 5:31 pm
OK….so you’re with a woman (that’s a first then) and it’s a Saturday night (normally a pub night) and you’re watching TV (so you’re a cheap date then) – no wonder she was crying.
Oh and us ‘women’ don’t cry over chips, we cry over chocolate…..when will men learn!
Admin comment by Mr Angry · September 11, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Peach – edited!!
All – There was no date, I was keeping a friend, who is sick, company. Go on, ask me how sick she is, I have a really really funny answer that you will not have ever heard.
And she is from the North, I think they cry over chips up there.