We have a temp in the office at the moment, and I am convinced she has some sort of mental problem. She simply cannot end a sentence without laughing as if I have just told her one of my brilliant jokes. Even when I have not told her one of my brilliant jokes.

Being in a meeting with her is like having a meeting on the set of a sitcom, except without the funny one-liners or the live studio audience. Just the laughter track. Do not be under the impression that this is something to help to lighten the mood, or that she is spreading a bit of happiness. She is not. Overly happy people make me sick. She is like the boy who cried wolf, all this fake laughing will totally dilute the effect when I eventually tell her one of my brilliant jokes.

In the kitchen this morning.

“Fucking hell, we’re out of milk again.” I said to no-one in particular.

“I know, I hate it when that happens, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” she cackled.

“I don’t understand, that’s not funny. Is it?”

“Not really, no, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”

Later, I had to pop in to ask her for some work related information. “I really need those figures as soon as possible.”

“I guess I’ll have to work through lunch then! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”

“Yes, you will! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” I guffawed. Though she didn’t seem to find it as funny when I did it.

I am compiling a list of things to say when I next see her, just to see if I can elicit a response that does not have a full-volume chuckle attached to it. My list so far:

“Someone just drove into your car.”
“I have a big bag of dead puppies under my desk, wanna see?”
“If you laugh at the end of your next sentence I will stick a fork in your neck.”

Can anyone suggest any others?

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