I finish playing 5 a-side and notice that I have three missed calls on my mobile, all from my old flatmate. This can mean one of two things, either he has some sort accountancy based emergency, or he has the phone in his pocket and is calling me by accident. There is no voicemail message from him which sounds like the inside of a pocket, so I call back.
“Hi Angry, I need a favour, can you pick me up from the Audi garage?”
“Hmph. OK, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
I drive to pick him up, and he sits in the front seat forlornly. This is surprising, as today was the day he picked up his new car.
“So” I ask “What happened.”
“Well, I picked up my new car, and very nice it is too, and on the way home I stopped to fill up with petrol, and splashed out on that good unleaded stuff, as a little treat for my new baby. I paid, and then I pulled out onto the dual carriageway and the car grinded to a halt.”
“And?”
“And that’s when I realised I had bought a diesel.”
He has owned a diesel for five years. Actually, he has owned a diesel for 5 years and twenty minutes if you include his new one. He was surprisingly chipper about it for someone about to spend a few hundred pounds fixing a mistake that, generally speaking, only retards make. This is one of the significant differences between us. He is not normally a retard, except on one or two previous occasions.
I dropped him at home and got out my phone to begin texting everyone we know.
No tags
Angelalala · August 7, 2007 at 10:13 am
I knew he was an idiot as soon as you said he’d bought a brand new car. Can he spell depreciation?!
Eliza · August 7, 2007 at 10:20 am
my sister is a dirty cop and she had done that 2 times in her police car. can you say karma?!
Léonie · August 7, 2007 at 10:32 am
So does that mean you are normally a retard, apart from one or two previous occasions? And if so, when exactly were those occasions?
zed · August 7, 2007 at 10:48 am
I’d probably make the same mistake too … but then I have never put petrol/diesel in a car before, let alone driven one.
That makes me a fuckwit too, I guess. Ah, but I’m not your friend so it doesn’t count.
Equine Pimp · August 7, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Some might say that anyone who has you as a friend is a fuckwit.
Obviously I would never voice such an opinion
ex-flatmate · August 7, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Angelalala – It is 18 months old, and as a failed accountant even I know what depreciation is.
Leonie – well the fact that he fell through the ceiling first is one such example.
Sewmouse · August 7, 2007 at 3:34 pm
In the USofA, the pumps have different sized nozzles so that this isn’t supposed to be able to happen.
You are not the first person I’ve heard about this from in the past month from the UK
I suggest you put the suggestion into some suggestion box somewhere…
ex-flatmate · August 7, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Sewmouse – they have started that here in limey land and it was in action at the garage in question. I am however a stubborn sod and put in my 55 quids worth of premium fuel very slowly.
All – Just to complete the story, the total cost was £420 quid which about halves the discount I got from 3 hours of hard negotiating and I didn’t have the car for 3 days as had to wait over the weekend for a fuel filter to arrive.
bittersweet me · August 7, 2007 at 6:57 pm
lol at the texting everyone …
bad luck, ex-flatmate. could happen to anyone, especially in first flush.
melanie · August 7, 2007 at 7:52 pm
clearly being oblivious works for him on some level. that will be a great mystery to solve. the best part of the story? ex-flatmate.
gnarlyswine · August 7, 2007 at 8:07 pm
Re: different size nozzles – yes they are different in North America but the diesel ones are bigger diameter so you cant put diesel in a petrolcar . You can still ruin a car the other way round though. I was thinking of getting one of the environmentaly friendly biodiesel ones but couldnt figure how to get rotting vegetation through the tiny filler hole.
gnarlyswine · August 7, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Btw im always hacked off because its up to 50p a liter here in Canada – ha ha ha
Mr H · August 8, 2007 at 9:28 am
Frankly, it’s all your own fault for having;
a) friends, and
b) returning calls on your mobile.
Dump the first and make a point of doing the second, and you won’t be troubled any more.
afc 30k · August 8, 2007 at 12:21 pm
It’s better to put petrol in a diesel car than the otherway around.
At 10:30 pm after a hard day in the office and a week old diesel car (when your old car was petrol) it’s an easy mistake to make.
As for depreciation, it’s got to be worth a grad for that new car smell and being able to have whatever spec you want. I now buy wifey and I’s cars of the internet at Drive the Deal.com who saved my a fortune on my latest turbo diesel throb monster…..
sooz · August 10, 2007 at 8:23 am
Poor sod!
You’d be gutted wouldn’t you? I bet he cried in private!
Nice car. For a diesel…
Glammer · August 10, 2007 at 11:09 am
Angelalala, all cars depreciate. Any idiot knows a new car depreciates less than most and is the best motor investment provided you trade in every year to maximise the low depreciation.
I have a diesel Audi. Wise purchase. A friend of mine had an AA guy out who used to work in an Audi repair centre and said he got bored because they so rarely break down. Unless you put the wrong fuel in, naturally.
bonnie · August 10, 2007 at 11:53 am
Where have you gone Angry? I’ve missed you this week
afc 30k · August 10, 2007 at 12:14 pm
The interweb is devoid of people today….
z · August 10, 2007 at 10:52 pm
I miss you too. Everything all right?
Mr Farty · August 11, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Perhaps Angry’s still walking home after filling up his own diesel with unleaded?
Angelalala · August 12, 2007 at 2:49 am
Glammer, this idiot didn’t know that at all. She did know that the only brand new car she ever bought and sold a year on lost her the most money she’d ever lost. Well, until she got divorced that is.
Angry, I do hope you haven’t fallen through any ceilings. Or fallen prey to ex-flatmate’s revenge.