Mon 6 Aug 2007
“Hello [Angry's home town] police station.”
“Hello, I’d like to report a stalker please. And speak to someone about restraining orders.”
“Right, OK. And why is that?”
“Well, there is this bloke you see, and apparently he ‘loves’ me, but I’m not interested, honestly. I am one hundred and ten percent straight.”
“I’m sorry to ask, but is this a domestic issue?”
“Well no, not really, but other people have heard that he ‘loves’ me too, whatever that means. I have a lot of witnesses.”
“And what makes you so sure he is stalking you?”
“Well he’s always about, isn’t he. In fact, he’s here right now.”
“Right now?”
“Well, yes, I can’t see him like, but I am told that he is definitely here. Watching. All the fucking time with the incessant watching. I’ve had enough, I’m not interested, and it’s freaking me out. I want him kept away from me before it escalates any further.”
“OK Sir, I’ll need some details, what is this gentleman’s name?”
“Jesus. Jesus Christ.”
10 Responses to “Stalker alert”
August 6th, 2007 at 9:13 am
You didn’t!!
August 6th, 2007 at 10:28 am
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August 6th, 2007 at 10:34 am
OMG - you didn’t really do that did you?
August 6th, 2007 at 10:50 am
Me on a bike, what did they say?
August 6th, 2007 at 11:27 am
Did you not tell them his dad is just as bad?
August 6th, 2007 at 11:28 am
Bahaha…sounds like something off that Phonejacker thing on E4. Well funny, gotta love wind ups.
August 6th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
You are so going to hell…
But then I laughed, so I guess I’ll see you there!
August 6th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Hopefully, the call was not made from a telephone traceable to Mr. Angry.
Oh, but wait. Now there is today’s posting as evidence that will live on in cyberspace. Is there a statute of limitations on such telephone crime?
August 6th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
@ TheBoy: so many of Mr Angry’s posts destine him hell-bound that when he dies there will probably be an audible sucking sound as the fiery pit claims its prize trophy!
Maybe you should befriend this creepy stalker Angry, if anyone can talk him round - it’s you.
August 6th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
All - Please do not be concerned for my soul. As a lapsed Catholic I think all I have to do is say sorry at the end and I will be fine. So long as I see the bus coming.