I am not a scientist. Well, not officially, but I mean how hard can it be? You put on a white coat, go and play with some dangerous stuff, write it up and away you go.
What I do understand however, is the concept of cause and effect, and how that differs to a correlation. This is why I was drawn to this particular story last week about a cat that can predict death.
Essentially, this story relates to how a cat at a nursing home in the US would sit by patients who were about to die. Of course, they may not know that they were about to die, hence the ability to ‘predict death’ bit of the story.
I love the way it is described as ‘baffling’ doctors. People with medical training are seeing a cat sit by an old person’s side, then a few days later said old person dies. Explanation? The cat can predict death! I am glad all that medical training did not go to waste.
If we are going to assume that this is a cause and effect relationship, and not a simple correlation, I would like to offer a counter theory. I am going to suggest that this cat has absolutely no psychic ability whatsoever, but is actually a sociopathic murderer and is killing people to death.
Cats are evil, everyone knows this. They are only in it for themselves and have no feelings whatsoever for their owners. If you have nothing to offer them, they piss off without so much as a glance backwards. This is why you never see a homeless person with a cat.
I truly believe that this cat is simply selecting its next victim, and then spending a few days figuring out a way to make it look like natural causes. Which is not that hard when your victims are all over seventy years old.
Kill the cat, and kill it now, before anyone else dies because of its murderous ways.
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Glammer · July 30, 2007 at 8:52 am
Have you been reading ‘Freakonomics’?
me · July 30, 2007 at 8:57 am
hmmm …. i saw this story, and came to exactly the same conclusion as yourself
*picks up phone and dials for help*
Mr.X · July 30, 2007 at 9:26 am
It’s just trying to get left a fortune in their wills – either than, or it happens to like the smell of decay.
Nah, On balance, we prefer the rabid homicidal theory
Dominic · July 30, 2007 at 9:30 am
As mankind discovers ever-more cures for the illnesses that plague humanity, so Nature (and pension companies) will fight back with ever-more inventive ways to kill us off as we grow older.
Clearly this cat is the latest move in the game. I’d leave it alone: You don’t want to mess with Nature.
Angelalala · July 30, 2007 at 10:39 am
They invited trouble when they named him Shipman if you ask me.
Mr Farty · July 30, 2007 at 11:30 am
As Frank Butcher would say, “Oh, Cat!”
Eliza · July 30, 2007 at 11:33 am
cats are satan’s spawn. end of.
(i say this because they scare the shit out of me!)
Nomes · July 30, 2007 at 1:38 pm
I am a scientist. However, that statement is now totally devalued given one of the (apparently, and clearly now, previously!) preeminent publications in my field is publishing this utter bloody nonsense.
I tell ya, don’t trust people in white coats (I, naturally, don’t wear one).
Léonie · July 30, 2007 at 1:58 pm
I heard all cats are members of the BNP, so this news does not surprise me in the least.
Mr Farty · July 30, 2007 at 2:02 pm
What’s so unscientific about a cat scan?
chopski · July 30, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Was the cat a Lion by any chance?
theotherbear · July 31, 2007 at 2:38 am
HAHA – I had come to the conclusion it was a slow news day as I saw this over and over again around the place. I never realised the cat was the murdered.