Our office has a posh coffee machine. It has a lots of buttons, makes numerous mechanical noises and takes a little while to make a single cup of coffee, so when there are a few people waiting to use it, non-work conversations normally strike up quite quickly.
“So, have you read the new Harry Potter book yet?” asked nondescript co-work number one, to nondescript co-worker number two.
“No, but I have it at home, I plan to read it this weekend.”
“It is a bit long, but very hard to put down, I finished it last night. Which version did you buy?”
“The adult one, obviously, I don’t want people thinking I’m weird, ha ha!”
My interest was piqued at the mention of adult material. It is a gift. I remember one University lecturer calling this phenomenon something like the ‘Cocktail Party Effect’. It is where people can pick out their names in distant conversations they are not listening to, even though they have not heard a single other word. I am a bit like that, but with porn.
“Hang on, there is an adult version?” I queried, a little bit too enthusiastically.
“Well, yes. I think there are a few different versions actually.”
“That is very interesting. So, how much actual shagging is there in this adult version?”
As it turns out, the adult version relates purely to the cover art, and in no way implies any wizard-on-witch, or even witch-on-witch action. Who would have thought? I have not been this disappointed since accidentally buying a copy of Memoirs of a Geisha, under obviously false pretenses.
I wish I had known this before getting a coffee. My HR file is thick enough as it is.
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la cubana gringa · July 27, 2007 at 7:43 am
So if there’s no witch-on-witch action in the actual content of the book, does the cover art at least show a little something to keep you going?
afc 30k · July 27, 2007 at 9:16 am
Beware of HR!
Wifey is in HR and all she seems to do is sack people…..
Dominic · July 27, 2007 at 10:05 am
You’d be amazed what a witch can do with her wand
GH · July 27, 2007 at 10:51 am
“Hello Hermione” said Ron. “Let me show you what a real wizard’s wand looks like” he added while unzipping his fly.
Trust me, there is a proper adult version out there, you’re just not looking hard enough.
GH
Eliza · July 27, 2007 at 11:05 am
i’m half way through and harry has been “pashing” ron’s little sister! that kept me going….
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 27, 2007 at 11:44 am
LCG – No, there is not, disappointingly…
AFC – That is what they do everywhere isn’t it?
Dominic – but I’m not going to find out from that book am I?
GH – Another fan of Mock The Week I see…
Eliza – Pashing? Is that like fair dinkum you flaming gallah?
TJ · July 27, 2007 at 12:03 pm
So you will never know if Hermione has a fanny like a wizard’s sleeve?
me · July 27, 2007 at 1:44 pm
I have heard of HP inspired witch-on-witch/-on-wizard action in various formats (written and visual). Apparently Snape is a popular character for role play.
Equine Pimp · July 27, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Don’t knock the Mock the Week audience. Frankie Boyle commenting that if the Bishop of Carlisle is right then Brighton would be the modern day Atlantis is truly classic comedy.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 27, 2007 at 2:29 pm
TJ – Who would have guessed it would be you to make that joke?
me – Like in Dungeons & Dragons?
EP – Been there, done that.
me · July 27, 2007 at 5:19 pm
noooo. Dungeons maybe, but no dragons, just, er, things i won’t know about but have heard rumours *blush*
Jo · July 27, 2007 at 6:57 pm
Oh god, the person who just mentioned if Hermione has a fanny like a wizard’s sleeve just made a little bit of wee come out. Piss funny. How many more vag-related comments can I get into this paragraph?
Oli · July 27, 2007 at 10:22 pm
Apparently Harry gets it on with his mates sister, im waiting for the film.
rach · July 28, 2007 at 9:20 pm
I’m five pages in and already confused. Sex would be much simpler.