Back in the days when I was a child, I knew a few kids who would walk to a local phone box, place a fake call to the emergency services, and then sit back and watch them arrive, all sirens blazing. They saw this as fun, probably because no-one had invented an X-box that they could play with, or mobile ring-tones that they could dance to in public places.

Obviously, the culprits of these false alarms were chastised, and I lost touch with them over the years, thankfully.

I sometimes wonder what happened to kids like this, who were obsessed by creating false alarms for the emergency services. What possible career could lay ahead of them? Now I know. They get jobs as journalists (I use the term loosely) with the Daily Mirror.

It takes a special kind of person to think that trying to hide a fake bomb on a train in this day and age is a good idea. Special in the window-licking sense of the word. It doesn’t take very much to get seven bullets in the head nowadays, you only have to wear a big coat when it is warm. So imagine what could happen if you were to walk around holding a big suitcase with the word ‘Bomb’ on the side.

I find it a great shame that they did not have the shit kicked out of them by some vigilant members of the public, that would have been really funny. I am sure the headline, “Public vigilance at all time high!” would have adorned the tabloids everywhere.

Fortunately, they were caught in the act, which makes the Daily Mirror happy, as it proves that security has improved. Yes, I imagine they are jumping with delight at the newsroom right now.

If these tabloid journalists really want to be on the front line ensuring public safety, there are lots of other projects they could get involved in. What about driving their cars at speed into walls to check Euro NCAP safety ratings?

What would you like to see them investigating further?

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