I popped out at lunchtime to pick up a sandwich and a few sundry items of which I had run out. Things like razor blades, sugar and toilet roll (it is much more embarrassing asking to borrow a toilet roll than a cup of sugar. Particularly if you are shouting your request out of an open bathroom window to passers by in the street).
Anyway, I had picked up most of what I needed, and had reached the area where the razors are kept, when I noticed a shocking sign. I took a picture of it and put it here, as a warning to others.
For those of you too lazy to click on a link (shame on you) it says, “For your safety and security we always prosecute thieves.”
‘Safety and Security’?! I had never been frightened of shop-lifters before, but I am big enough to admit that I was more than a little apprehensive after reading this. I have not seen any research into shoplifter violence, but some sort of survey must have been undertaken, as supermarkets do not put up signs like this willy-nilly. Mass hysteria costs lives. The last thing we need is a stampede on a Sunday afternoon after seeing an old lady stuffing a tin of cat food into her jacket.
Clearly, this warning means that there have been incidents of people going to steal some bread, and then going on a murderous rampage around the store!
On a similar theme I have read about the supposed link between minor drugs such as Marijuana and Rohypnol (it is minor, you have nothing to fear ladies) and hardcore class-A drugs like heroin and Red Bull, but I did not realise there was such a fine line between the theft of groceries and lashing out violently at random passers-by.
I subsequently watched my fellow shoppers with a new-found intensity looking for the merest hint of a bulging coat and homicidal mania. Previously, if I had seen a shoplifter, I would almost certainly have pointed this out to the supermarket staff, but not now. I am not taking a bullet for anyone.
Though I obviously applaud this effort by Sainsbury’s to ensure the safety of their shoppers, I do have some sympathy for their shareholders. I am sure they are at home counting their dividends wondering why so much time, effort and valuable money is being wasted on warning consumers about violent shop-lifters. I am sure they would much prefer a focus on reducing shoplifting in order to improve the bottom line?
Sainsbury’s should be careful, it is altruistic behaviour like this, and a focus on customer well-being that can lead to a severe drop in your stock market value. Just ask Gerald Ratner.
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12 comments
<< Fake Bombers
Equine Pimp · July 25, 2007 at 8:35 am
Sainsbury’s = Cunts
Fucking tight fisted wankers.
Had some Executive shares with them after being made redundant and have just been told that I cannot exercise these as they have not met the targets. As I am no longer there, my right to use them ends in November and they will now not retest against performance until May 2008.
Share price was £2.80 when they were issued and £5.74 when I was informaed they had not performed. They are constantly crowing about being well ahead of their recovery plan and have exceeded expected LFL growth for the past 10 quarterly trading statements.
That bullshit about not performing cost me £6000 (that I had already spent)
I am fully aware that this was not the subject of this post but that name provokes naught but anger at the moment.
*goes for a walk to calm down*
Equine Pimp · July 25, 2007 at 8:39 am
On a blog related point, statistically there must be homicidal maniacs in supermarkets and some of them must also be shoplifters (a Venn diagram would prove my point here quite well).
What you have here is another instance of people covering their arses. It’s like the warnings on bags of peanuts that state “may contain nuts”.
That way, if you do get murdered by a homicidal shoplifter, the store can claim due diligence.
Dominic · July 25, 2007 at 9:33 am
AND the bastards regularly sell out of bread before I get there.
If only Tesco were nearer…
TJ · July 25, 2007 at 9:52 am
Tesco are no better. I’ve had to swap to Sainsbury’s because Tesco never have in what I need (basic stuff). However, having read the rantings of EP, I may boycott them out of principle. God love Morrisions???
By the way, as a child I devoured a pack of strawberry laces whilst my mum was shopping in a supermarket and she only spotted the empty packet in the car on the way home. Technically, I had shoplifted but resisted the urge to stab anyone to death. Perhaps, I now have deep-rooted issues bubbling under the surface and it may only take one clash of a supermarket trolley to send me on a pyschotic rampage….
Jo · July 25, 2007 at 10:01 am
Those signs make me nervous. I find myself shifting awkwardly around the shop trying to look as innocent as possible, hands in the air in order to not look suspicious despite the fact I intend to pay for everything. Brrr.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 25, 2007 at 11:23 am
EP – Have lawyers been consulted? Anyone reading this feel like offering some advice?
Dominic – It was probably all stolen.
TJ – I knew there was something dodgy about you…
Jo – Hehe. Yes, walking round with your hands in there shouting, “I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE!” would be a good way to shop.
Megan · July 25, 2007 at 2:22 pm
You people need to arm your general public like we do. Then there’s no worry about who is the psychotic shoplifting maniac. You could live in happy confidence that every last one of your fellow shoppers is carrying heat. Takes all the worry out of life. Scuze me now while I polish up my uzi.
Peach · July 25, 2007 at 2:59 pm
and you know why it was placed there? Because razors are the most popular item in high street shops to steal.
I find that pretty scary
Dominic · July 25, 2007 at 4:45 pm
That’s because cartridge razors are so hideously overpriced.
The ‘traditional’ old double-edges blades I use are so cheap as to be not worth stealing. Even if I were so inclined. Which I’m not. Obviously.
Eliza · July 25, 2007 at 5:16 pm
i shop lifted an eyeliner from boots once when i was 14 but i put it in my sister’s handbag- does that make her the psycho by proxy?
Jules · July 26, 2007 at 8:13 pm
It’s morons like this that make travel such a pain in the neck. I say we invite them all on an intercontinental flight and have the flight staff ditch the plane – someone needs to test those seat cushions for their ability to act as flotation devices.
I recently visited Paris and bought a snowglobe to bring home to my mother. Freaking security specialists took it away from me – evidently a small water filled souvenir is an excellent terrorist weapon. At some time in the past some moron actually had one rigged to look threatening, just to see if he could get it through and onto the plane. Now I have to explain to my mother the reason I returned home from my first trip overseas without a souvenir. Aaaarrrggghhhhhhh!
clarissa · July 26, 2007 at 8:41 pm
online shopping people. you are bloggers for christ’s sake. no need to ever enter another shop for as long as you live.